


The Devil Looks After his Own

by DevinBourdain



Series: Missteps in team building (Keres) [5]
Category: The Avengers (2012), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Clint whump, Gen, Sibling issues, Tesseract
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-24
Updated: 2013-04-28
Packaged: 2017-12-03 10:31:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 32,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/697306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DevinBourdain/pseuds/DevinBourdain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint believes something is wrong with him. On Asgard Loki has taken ill and tells Thor that his and Barton's problems may have the same solution. With Barton's worst fear coming true, can the team trust that this isn't some ploy by Loki?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blue Velvet

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The Avengers characters are not mine, just borrowed for this story.
> 
> Warnings: language and violence.
> 
> * For this story I decided to try something different. Each chapter is named after a song I believe reflects either a character or some aspect of the chapter. At the end of the chapter will be the name of the artist who performs the song. I'm not sure how well it turned out but hopefully it adds a little extra to each chapter.

Natasha was standing out on the middle of the roof staring off at the horizon. Her black dress sparkled in the moonlight; the city lights lit up the night sky like the perfect backdrop, and the nearest souls were a hundred floors down. She didn't turn around as Clint made his way across the roof to stop just behind her. Everything was eerily quiet except for the steady sound his breathing; like the world had melted away just for them.

Hesitantly he called out her name. Failing to get a response he reached across the small distance between them and placed his hand tenderly on her shoulder. As soon as his hand made contact she spun around brusquely and locked eyes with him. He could normally get lost in those jade green eyes, but his attention was immediately pulled to the sharp stabbing pain that tore through his side; a small gasp escaped his lips.

As he looked down, he shakily brought his hand to the knife that Natasha had plunged into him. His hand gently wrapped around hers which was still tightly grasping the hilt of the weapon in the fatal wound. Clint could taste the warm copper of the blood that was dripping over his lip and he looked into Natasha's eyes to find cold indifference.

His voice trembled. "Why?"

"Shhhh." She placed a hand gently behind his head and cradled it to her neck as Clint felt his body begin to sag. Natasha brought them down to their knees with more care than he could ever remember her showing him. She placed a loving kiss to his cheek to pacify his weak attempts at struggling.

Barton didn't know what hurt worse; the blade in his gut or Natasha's betrayal. He painstakingly wracked his brain for a reason to justify her action. If it was going to be anyone to take him out he supposed he would rather it have been her, here in her arms.

His body felt heavy and he had no choice but to lean against her. His hands dropped by his side and his forehead now hung heavily on her shoulder. Summoning the last bit of strength he could he tried one more time. "Why Natasha?"

She brushed her hand across his chin and gently lifted it off her shoulder. He screwed his eyes shut letting out a whimper of pain as she twisted the knife deep in his gut. When he finally managed to open them again what was facing him was far worse than the impending death that was whispering his name on the soft breeze. Instead of the vibrant green eyes that had been a constant at his side, were the icy cold blue ones the Tesseract freely offered.

A million questions ran through Barton's mind. The how and why was Loki back and when did he claim Natasha as his own? They all died on his lips, drowned in the blood that now poured freely from his mouth. The darkness was calling and pulling him under. He drew in one last breath as Natasha leaned closer and gently whispered in his ear, "bluer than velvet were her eyes."

Clint shot up in bed gasping for breath, hand immediately going to the stabbing pain in his side but there was no blood on his fingers; no knife protruding from him. He sprang from the tangled sheets and rushed to the bathroom. Yanking up his shirt he stared at the spot where he had felt the blade slide in but in the soft glow of the bathroom light there wasn't a mark. Getting his breathing back under control he started to make his way back to bed when the haunting voice of Lana Del Ray caught his attention. "And I still can see blue velvet through my tears."

It was then he noticed the flashing light of his alarm clock. "What the hell," muttered Clint. The numbers on the clock flashed in time with his growing anger.

"JARVIS, who set my alarm for three thirty in the morning?"

"My apologies sir, but Mr. Stark is presently reconfiguring my systems resulting in various glitches in the network. It appears your alarm clock was affected."

"Tell Stark I hate him. You know what never mind; I'll tell him myself. He's in his lab?"

"Indeed sir."

Clint was use to having nightmares, particularly ones involving Loki and the Tesseract but that was the first one when it wasn't him being controlled. In fact that had been one of the worst dreams he had in a while and the walk to the lab might help settle his nerves. If he was going to be honest, it was kind of a relief that the radio had woke him up. Barton didn't really want to know what Natasha was going to say before Blue Velvet replaced it, as oddly fitting as it had been.

Finding himself in front of the lab door Clint punched in his access code and entered into the middle of another AC/DC marathon blasting over Tony's speakers. Stark was too busy manipulating things on one of the computer screens to notice Barton's arrival and yelped as he turned to find the archer standing right next to him.

"Jesus Barton! JARVIS cut the music. That's creepy; you assassins need to wear a bell or something - don't you know it's rude to sneak up on people like that."

"Rude?! How about having my alarm go off at three thirty in the morning?"

"Brilliance doesn't recognize decent hours of the day. I had an epiphany on how to make JARVIS better, unfortunately installing the updates I need is wreaking havoc on his systems and a few inconsistences have popped up. I'll get it all sorted; but don't worry, Cap already came down here and said his peace and your girlfriend left her calling card..."

Barton glared at Stark who rolled his eyes at the archer's protest. Sometimes it was too easy to get a rise out of the man, and Tony couldn't resist poking at the complicated 'not relationship' the two SHIELD agents tactfully ignored.

Clint then looked at the dagger imbedded in the wall and pictured an irate Widow coming down to the lab to talk to the insomniac; he was kind of sorry he missed it.

"So I decided to call it a night and finish up later. It's you guys that are going to suffer though; these little hiccups will be occurring until I finish. So if you get burnt toast or miss a meeting in the next few days, don't come crying to me."

Waving Stark off Clint headed back upstairs but decided against going to his room. There was little chance that he was going to get anymore sleep now anyway. Grabbing a blanket from the closet and a cup of coffee from the kitchen he headed up to the roof to watch the sunrise. At the very least he could disprove his fear that a killer redhead with a knife would be waiting up there for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blue Velvet by Lana Del Ray


	2. Only if You Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint believes something is wrong with him. On Asgard Loki has taken ill and tells Thor that his and Barton's problems may have the same solution. With Barton's worst fear coming true, can the team trust that this isn't some ploy by Loki?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The Avengers characters are not mine, just borrowed for this story.
> 
> Warnings: language and violence.

Crashing into the mat for a second time, Clint shook his head in a vain attempt to regain his wandering focus. He usually did better against Steve when sparring but his recent nightmare had shaken him up more than he cared to admit, and his attention span was suffering. Not having a nightmare about Loki for several months had given the archer the false hope that maybe he was finally starting to get past the events that culminated in Manhattan. There had certainly been more recent horrors to plague his dreams lately.

Offering a hand, Steve helped Barton pick himself off of the mat. "Again?"

Nodding his head, Clint wandered over to the side of the mat to grab his water bottle. He exchanged the bottle for his towel and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"You're sure?" asked Rogers as Clint made his way back over. The archer usually put up more of a challenge, but today he seemed to be off his game. The Captain was slightly concerned that something might be troubling his teammate, but didn't want to force the issue. However, he also didn't want to end up injuring his friend because Barton wasn't paying attention.

"It's fine Cap, just a little tired. Besides I bet you can't do that a second time," offered Barton as he took his stance opposite Steve. Rogers offered a small sigh and silently corrected the archer's tally in his head; if he knocked the man down again it would be more along the lines of the sixth time.

The pair continued on until Tony sauntered in and shouted, "Playtime's over kiddies!"

Clint glanced over at Stark for a brief second and caught Rogers' fist to the side of his head. The next thing he knew he was getting personally acquainted with the mat again. He looked up to see both men standing over him; Steve with a look of concern and apology, and Stark with a slight smile and gleam in his eye. Rogers helped the archer get to his feet, and Clint brushed his hand against the warm liquid that was running down his chin.

"Jesus Cap, I think you broke Barton," chuckled Tony.

Grabbing his towel Clint wiped at the blood on his face and attempted to stop his bleeding nose. He didn't think Rogers could look any more remorseful; but, sure enough, as he locked eyes with his sparring partner the man had found another level.

"It's fine Captain. You didn't do it; you connected with my chin not my nose. I must have smacked it on the mat." Clint sat down on the bench while the other two mopped up the mat, well Steve cleaned up; Tony just stood there chuckling to himself. His nose didn't hurt like he face planted on the floor, but he was bleeding badly enough that he had to have done it.

"What do you want Stark?" asked Rogers as he threw the bloody towels in the laundry.

"Fury said he wanted to have one of his boring and time consuming check in meetings in five minutes. So if you're not too busy beating his archer to a pulp, maybe you two could join us in briefing room three." Without waiting for a reply, Tony turned and left the gym to fetch the rest of the mismatched team of superheroes.

Steve looked over at Clint who nodded. Carefully he pulled the blood soaked towel away to find the geyser of blood had ceased. "I'll be right behind you Cap; I'm just going to clean up."

"Alright," replied Rogers, who sheepishly headed up to the conference room. Things like that happened all the time in practice and it was by no means life threatening, but Steve had noticed Clint was distracted and off his game. He didn't like the idea of injuring a teammate no matter how minor, especially if he wasn't paying attention to how he was directing his super strength.

Clint made the trek to the bathroom to clean himself up. Fumbling in the dark he managed to flip the light switch and instantly regretted it as the light stabbed a sharp pain through his head. He hissed and screwed his eyes shut then very cautiously blinked the room into focus. Quickly splashing water on his face to get rid of the blood he fled back into the gym to grab the bottle of pills out of his bag to help dull the sudden migraine. It was going to be a long meeting if his headache didn't let off; he didn't think he could handle both Fury's barking and Starks usual ramblings right now, and taking a couple extra minutes to get there wasn't going to help matters.

The archer quietly opened the door to the briefing room and commenced his walk of shame to his seat. Fury leveled a hard gaze at him until he was seated, "nice of you to join us Agent Barton," he then continued with the update. That tone was synonymous with shit list. Clint didn't have to think very hard about who was going to be on the top of a very short list of operatives for the next crappy posting in Siberia, and all for being a couple of minutes late.

The rest of the team didn't comment on Clint's extreme lateness except for Stark who casually leaned over and whispered, "think you're going to have to stay after class and clean erasers for you tardiness?"

Not wishing to address the childish antics, Fury simply raised his voice and continued. "Thor contacted us with his intentions to stay on Asgard for awhile longer. There doesn't seem to be anything pressing in which the team will be required for, so you can all enjoy another week off pending any world ending disasters; except for you, Doctor Banner."

"Me? What could you possibly need me for without the others?"

"We have recently came across a lab we believe our rogue councilman was using to conduct research," replied Fury.

"Research on what?" Bruce found the other man was never very good at offering a lot of information about anything.

"We're not sure, but it was suggested that you might be able to shed some light on what the reconnaissance team found."

"I could certainly take a look."

"Good. There's a jet leaving in one hour; I expect you to be on board."

Stark piped up, "what, Bruce is the only one that gets to go play mad scientist?" It was at that moment that the lights in the briefing room turned off along with all the other electronic devices resting on the table.

"At the moment Dr. Banner is the only one required. Should he need your expertise I'm sure someone will give you a call. In the mean time I suggest you fix your systems, Stark" snapped the Director.

"Right. A little help here JARVIS," commanded Tony. The lights flickered back on and all the devices rebooted.

The Director left the meeting first, followed by Bruce who had to go and pack for his trip. Romanoff and Stark sauntered out next, leaving Barton sitting at the table and a concerned Rogers hovering by the door.

"Are you sure you're alright Barton?" asked Steve.

Curious, Clint raised an eyebrow. "I'm fine Cap."

"You were thirty minutes late. I thought you were just going to get cleaned up."

"What are you talking about? You were gone ten minutes before I came up here..."

Steve interrupted, "Clint it's two-thirty; Fury called the meeting at two o'clock."

"Huh." The archer paused to consider what Steve was saying. He could have sworn he didn't take that long. What was worse was it wasn't the first time he felt like he was missing moments of his day. He tried for reassuring, "I guess I just lost track of time. Sorry Cap, I won't let it happen again."

Clint hopped up and strode to the door after patting Steve on the shoulder trying to convey some sort of normalcy he felt he was lacking at this new insight. Once he made it back to his room he began his research into his missing time, "JARVIS can you bring up the security footage from the gym between one-fifty to two-thirty and send it to my lap top?"

"Right away, sir."

Clint sat cross-legged on his bed scouring the video footage. He winced as he watched Steve knock him to the mat; he'd have to save that part to analyze later and hopefully salvage some of his pride next time. The camera angle offered a small glimpse to the bathroom. He had left the door open after turning on the light and the camera managed to catch the reflection in the mirror. He watched himself recoil at the change in lightening then nothing. Barton could distinctly remember splashing water on his face to clean the blood off but according to the video he simply stood there. He checked the time stamp and watched the minutes tick by as he stood there like a statue. His gaze was distant but blank then after twenty minutes of nothing Hawkeye finally bent over and turned on the tap. He left the gym with eight minutes to get his pills and get to the meeting.

"JARVIS can you pull up files Barton A1 and Barton A2?"

"They are on your laptop now."

Clint sat there and watched the two other videos depicting similar incidents. A growing sense of dread spread through him; he had spent time trying to research possible explanations for the occurrences, none of which sounded conducive to continuing his position as an agent and an Avenger. He didn't want to bring it to anyone's attention; the last thing he wanted was to give SHIELD medical and psych a reason to take a pointed interest in him. They were still begging Fury to let them turn Clint in to a lab rat to research long term affects of being hijacked by a mystical god. Barton was willing to do a lot of things for the benefit of the world, but he had had his fill of medical for the rest of his life already. Maybe it was time to seek outside council.

"JARVIS has Dr. Banner left yet?"

"Dr. Banner is presently in his lab."

"Can you save this new video as Barton A3?"

"It is done sir."

The archer closed his laptop and made his way down to the lab. The place was filled with the bustling of Dr. Banner, as he tried to get together anything he thought might be useful for his trip and putting his current projects on hold. The man barely looked up as Clint skulked his way in through the door.

"Hey Bruce, I was um... would you... I don't know... could you?" he muttered as he rubbed his hand against the back of his neck.

"What do you need Clint?" It came out a bit harsher than Bruce had intended but being told to pack immediately and fly who knows where to try and piece together who knows what, tended to play on his frustration. He stopped short when he caught the brief flash of hurt in the archer's eyes. Before the young man could flee the scene, Banner corrected his shortness. "Really Clint, what's on your mind?"

Barton hovered for a few moments weighing the merit of his visit. "I know you have to leave but I was hoping you might have time to..." he did some jerky motion with his hand that Bruce had taken to mean their weekly Keres sample check. Since Hawkeye's dealings with the council the pair had engaged in weekly late night research sessions in the lab. Banner had hoped it would offer his troubled teammate some reassurance when the tests constantly and undoubtedly came back negative; that Clint could start to move away from the horrific events of the last year. What had started out as an attempt at reassurance was quickly becoming a depressing coping mechanism for the archer; one in which the doctor would have to address with his friend but not in the few minutes he had left.

Banner moved over to the supply drawer and grabbed a syringe. "You know the drill." He moved to stand next to Clint as the young man rolled up his shirt sleeve. After taking the sample he placed in one of the many machines that were lined up on one of the tables and turned the equipment on. "When it's done analyzing the sample, it will print out over there. Think you can handle it from that point?" asked Bruce as he shut his briefcase and glanced at the clock.

Clint just smiled and nodded to cover up his growing uncertainty. Banner clearly didn't need to be burdened with any more of Clint's problems.

"We'll talk when I get back alright?"

"Yeah," replied Barton as he sauntered over to the printer to await his results. He wasn't sure which would be more reassuring at this point: a positive or negative.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only if you Run by Julian Plenti


	3. Sympathy For The Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint believes something is wrong with him. On Asgard Loki has taken ill and tells Thor that his and Barton's problems may have the same solution. With Barton's worst fear coming true, can the team trust that this isn't some ploy by Loki?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The Avengers characters are not mine, just borrowed for this story.
> 
> Warnings: language and violence.

Bruce followed the painfully boring SHIELD agent down a series of winding corridors, getting ever further beneath ground level. The location definitely put secret in secret location. They finally stopped when they came across a rather gloomy looking research lab. "Why is it the bad guys can never have a hidden lair some place warm and tropical that isn't thirteen hours away by plane?" asked Banner.

The stone-faced agent looked at Bruce but didn't offer a reply or a smile to indicate he was amused by the doctor's statement. "The tech team has overridden all the security codes and encryption on the computers. If you acquire anything else Dr. Banner, just let us know." The agent then turned and left Bruce to the disarray of the lab.

First step, see what data had been stored on the hard drives. It was his third day at it and staring at the computer screen lasted a couple of hours until he started to go cross eyed. He rubbed his eyes and decided a coffee break was his new priority. So far everything he read was information SHIELD had already gathered on the Tesseract project. There were several proposed experiments listed in the files and Bruce imagined that they would be discussed further in the never ending pile of information he was tasked with shifting through.

In his brief absence several mountains of files were dumped on one of the tables awaiting Bruce's attention. It seemed this job was constantly expanding; as if he didn't have enough data to sift through already. He placed his coffee mug on top of one of the boxes and opened the one next to it. He pulled out one of the files and gave it a passing glance flipping through the pages without any real goal in mind. The file seemed to outline the observations and results of subjects exposed to project X173A-K. The data was collected over several years coming to an end approximately three years ago. There was one entry at the end that caught the doctor's attention; it had been scribbled in rather recently; within the last year recently. Agent Clinton Barton: exposed and recommended for the proposed next phase.

Banner turned sharply to call one of the agents into the lab and knocked over his coffee cup. A string of explicates escaped his lips as he frantically tried to clean it up before it ruined the files. What he found in his cleanup efforts crippled him with the sudden urge to with throw up or smash something.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thor paced up and down the hall awaiting his father. Finally Odin emerged from Loki's cell and approached the fretting young god. "The healers are at a loss to explain it. You should go and speak with him," informed the Allfather.

When Thor had brought Loki back to Asgard the trickster had seemed fine; as fine as anyone awaiting punishment from Odin could be. Upon Thor's return to Asgard following his dealings with the rogue councilman to save Hawkeye, Loki had taken ill. At first Odin believed it was a ploy to garner sympathy but several months later there was no improvement. If anything Loki appeared to be getting worse. Thor suspected his brother might know the cause but was being tight lipped for unknown reasons.

Dealing with the rift between Loki and Thor reminded Odin of how very old he was. He had been grateful that his son was alive but the burden of being king meant he could not ignore the ill deeds of his youngest. He also knew how much it pained his oldest to be at odds with Loki. It would take a lot to erase the loyalty and duty of family but the king secretly feared if anyone could bring an insurmountable amount of hurt and betrayal to the family it would be Loki.

Thor gave a curt nod and marched into his brother's cell. Despite everything that had happened between them, all the things Loki had done to try and hurt Thor; he still didn't want to see his brother like this. The trickster wasn't thriving under his punishment but his health had taken an unforeseen decline in recent weeks that it was causing great concern. Odin had agreed that Loki need to be punished for what he had done on earth but he wasn't going to let his son suffer from an unknown illness.

"Loki," announced Thor as he entered the cell. His only greeting was the standard hatred filled glare that the trickster usually leveled him with.

"Come to gloat have you?" snarled Loki.

"I have nothing to gloat about brother. Father seems to think you might know of what is causing your affliction and has asked me to speak with you about the matter." Thor tried to ignore the flinch every time he referred to a member of the house of Odin as a relation to Loki.

"And if I did, what would you do?"

"Then you should confide in me brother. We might be able to help." Loki snorted at Thor's idea. "We can put all this behind us and become a family once again," insisted the thunder god who despite everything still wanted to be able to save his brother from his own evil doings. It was hard to ignore all the pleasant memories of the past and the bond forged in youth.

"Thor Odinson, personal saviour of the slighted is that it? And what if I told you this was the fallout of the Tesseract? Would you still be willing to help?"

Thor thought it over for a moment. Was there a more fitting punishment than one dealt out from his evil intentions? Odin had leveled punishment against Loki, did he really deserve to suffer in addition to that? Thor knew his victims would say it wasn't enough but this was still his brother. His victims had never known Loki in happier times, a constant confidant to all the schemes of youth that they shared, the moments of brotherly bonding that had been overshadowed by the twisted hate filled person that now sat before him. "We are brothers Loki. Despite all your wickedness, we're still willing to take you back with open arms."

"What, has Odin found use for me again, is that it?"

"Our father had reasons for everything he did Loki but he still loves us."

"You! He loves you. I am but a means to an end. Reunite me with my sceptre and the Tesseract and I might be able to purge myself of this illness." Loki caught the moment of hesitation and indecision in the other man's eyes. "Or is your forgiveness and brotherhood not extend that far?"

"I will take it under consideration," offered Thor as he left the cell. He would need to take time to ponder the request. Such action would have consequences for all if this was yet another ploy to strike at all that Thor held dear.

A smile washed over the trickster's sickly pale skin as he was left in the silence and solitude of his cell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sympathy For The Devil by The Rolling Stones


	4. Rusted From the Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint believes something is wrong with him. On Asgard Loki has taken ill and tells Thor that his and Barton's problems may have the same solution. With Barton's worst fear coming true, can the team trust that this isn't some ploy by Loki?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The Avengers characters are not mine, just borrowed for this story.
> 
> Warnings: language and violence.

Tony threw down his screwdriver at the sound of the tone that was broadcasting over the intercom. The one convenience of having all the team members in one place was they could assemble faster. Instead of calling the members individually, which they still had to do when the team was off doing their own things, JARVIS could be alerted and sound the alarm for the team to suit up. It did seem like it was harder to get through a week without being called into action.

"This for real or another glitch?" demanded Barton as he poked his head into the lab.

"It's the real deal," said Stark as he began the process of getting into his suit. Clint nodded and headed back towards the range to grab the arrows he had been working on.

Most of the "glitches" were nothing more than Tony having a little fun at the team`s expense. Any real problem with the JARVIS was a top priority for the billionaire. He could easily finish his side project in half the time without the annoying little interruptions to the operating systems in the tower, but the "glitches" did keep things interesting and served as a reminder to all to appreciate brilliance when they saw it.

Captain America, Black Widow, Hawkeye and Iron Man arrived on the scene. Rogers immediately began his situation brief with the lead agent. The call came out as a hostage situation, which didn't really warrant the impressive show of the Avengers, but, like most operations involving SHIELD, nothing was what seemed.

A rogue scientist had managed to get past SHIELD's impressive background checks and attach himself to a highly classified project. From there, he managed to steal some top secret documents and technology…technology which he was prepared to demonstrate on the inhabitants of the apartment complex the team was now standing in front of.

"Here's the plan," Steve began. "Romanoff and Barton I want you to cover the back. Try to get as many civilians out as quietly as you can and make sure our guy doesn't sneak out the back. Stark, I want you to take the roof and work your way down to the main floor. I'm going to go in the front and work my way up to you. We'll catch this guy somewhere in the middle."

The others nodded in agreement. Stark fired his thrusters and landed on the rooftop while Hawkeye and Widow jogged to the back of the building. A crowd was gathering behind the police line trying to take in the appearance of the elusive superheroes. Steve took a deep breath and gripped his shield even tighter. After taking a moment to center himself, he ran up to the building and burst through the front door.

It was quiet and, after a brief check, Steve moved up to the second floor to try and lay eyes on the bad guy or move any stragglers out of harm's way. He leaned against the wall around the corner of the staircase to the third floor; the constant thud of footsteps echoed down the stairwell. Rogers cautiously peered around the corner trying to catch a glimpse of anyone moving around on the next floor.

He tapped his comm. "Stark, what's your location?"

"I'm still on the eighth floor. Nine and ten were clear of villains and pedestrians."

"Hawkeye, Widow what's your location?"

"We're still on the first floor dealing with civilians. We're a negative on the scientist, Captain," replied Natasha. She glanced over at Clint who was on his knees trying to coax a small child out from under the stairs. Hopefully, their target was still in the upper levels of the complex and Tony and Steve would intercept him before he tried to escape out the back way amongst the civilians or tried to activate the tech he stole. Romanoff pressed herself against the wall and kept a wary eye out for any threats to the pair.

Steve moved up the stairs quickly and sprang out in front of the approaching person. A sharp gasp escaped the teenager who stumbled into the Captain. He gently placed his hands on the frightened girl's shoulders. "I need you to exit the building quickly and quietly. There will be some men to take you to safety outside," assured Steve.

"I have to find my baby cousin. He took off when the commotion started and I don't know where he's gotten to," explained the girl.

"I'll keep an eye out for him, but chances are he's already been evacuated and is waiting outside for you. Trust me. I'll make sure everyone is safe." The girl nodded and moved down the stairs at Steve's direction. After checking the third floor, he proceeded to the next.

Rogers and Stark cornered the scientist on the sixth floor. Unfortunately, he wasn't working as alone as they thought. A handful of muscled henchmen were flanking their target and looking for a fight. They were the typical low IQ cavemen type that thought they had a shot a victory and immediately broke into two groups of three to take on the imposing figures of Iron Man and Captain America, who were standing at either end of the hall.

The first punch thrown pinged harmlessly against Tony's suit. He smiled to himself and grabbed the thug by the neck and tossed him into the wall. The second bad guy thought he might do better with the aid of a crowbar, but learned that even that was no match for the force standing before him. Slightly bored with the lack of effort that was required, Stark tossed the second man into the third taking out two birds with one stone. With his part of the skirmish over, Iron Man closed the distance between him and the scientist, who was cowering in the doorway to one of the apartments.

"You need to hire some better help," informed Tony as he placed a set of cuffs on the enemy and retrieved the missing tech.

The three men that chose to go after Steve decided that three-on-one would prove more beneficial to their success; the Captain was more than happy to prove them wrong. A quick jab, an upper cut, and an elbow dropped two of the men and a swift kick rendered the final thug unconscious on the floor.

Together, Captain America and Iron Man escorted their target out of the building into the waiting arms of the SHIELD agents. Tapping his comm, Steve reported, "We have the scientist in custody. Hawkeye and Widow, what's your status?"

"We're exiting the building now," confirmed Natasha after getting a nod from Clint, who scooped up the small child they had found earlier. "We neutralized two thugs on two and picked up a passenger. We'll meet you at the rally point in a moment."

Romanoff opened the back door to the alley and was about to step out when a bullet slammed into the brick by the door. She exchanged a look with Clint who knelt down to place the child on his feet. He pulled his bow off his shoulder and notched an arrow. Natasha counted down from three on her fingers and the pair burst from the door. They moved down the steps releasing a barrage of bullets and arrows down the alley. A few bullets were returned but mostly the sound of grunts and men crying out in pain answered the duo's assault.

"Why can't it ever be that easy? There always has to be more," muttered Barton as he readied another arrow. The men at the other end of the alley were regrouping, ceasing the number of shots coming towards the pair. "You got this?"

"Yep," replied Natasha as she took several steps forward and further out into the alleyway to draw fire away from the archer and the door.

Clint pulled himself up and over the railing to the stairs and opened the door to the building. He pulled the child towards him. "When I tell you to run, I want you to run around the side of the building and go straight to one of the policemen that will be waiting, alright?"

The child nodded while brushing tears from his eyes. "Ok then, here we go. You're going to be alright," assured Clint. He opened the door and laid down cover fire along with Romanoff. "Run!" order Barton and the child took off as directed while Clint blocked him from being targeted by the enemy. With the boy safely out of the line of fire, both SHIELD agents ducked behind the nearest shelter they could find.

Natasha reloaded her guns. "How do you want to play this one?" she called out to her partner.

Barton's response was cut off as an energy pulse zapped into the wall behind him. "Well that's different. Looks like they brought some fun toys after all." He twisted the dial on his bow and locked an exploding arrow head. He aimed it for the fire escape just above the bad guys' heads and let it loose. The small rumble shook the alleyway, then all was silent.

A satisfied smirk spread across Clint's face as he made his way over to Natasha. Four men rushed out of the side alley and charged the pair. Romanoff used her Widows bite on her second man after breaking the first thug's neck. "How's it going Barton?" She turned to see how her partner was fairing with his two adversaries.

Just as she turned around Barton collapsed to the ground. He had already taken out one man and Romanoff quickly dispatched the last one with a quick and clean shot in the head. She rushed to his side. Everything was silent except for the hammering of her heart as she checked over Barton for any sign of injury; her hands fluttered over his chest. Finding no cause for alarm, she began to slap his cheek. "Barton, open your eyes!"

His fist grazed the side of her check as it shot up. Before she could register what was happening, Clint was on his feet and delivering another blow to her side. She blocked the next two blows and knocked the gun out of his hand when he went to pull it. The whole situation would have warranted a 'what the hell' but she was rendered speechless and dumbfounded by the glowing blue eyes that had replaced the grey ones of her partner and friend.

Her desperate desire to believe that the whole situation wasn't happening again had distracted her focus enough that Barton had gained the upper hand. She felt the pressure build on her arm followed by the painful snap. Pain ripped through her body and brought her to her knees with Clint glaring down at her; a twisted smile contorted his face into the horror of her nightmares.

All the moves she could employ to take the enemy down flashed through her head. She knew seven different ways to kill a man in any situation, but she made no move to attempt any of them. No matter what, this wasn't the enemy. This was Clint. Natasha prepared herself for the next blow when a metal hand clamped down on Barton's shoulder and threw him to the ground.

Romanoff knelt with her useless arm clutched to her chest and watched as the archer rolled with the throw and sprang back up to his feet. Iron Man shifted his attention from the assassin on the ground to Barton and started to move towards the man. Before anyone could make a move, Clint's icy blue eyes rolled in the back of his head and he collapsed on the pavement.

"What the hell was that?" asked Tony.

Natasha stared blankly ahead weighing the consequences of the situation and their complications. "I don't know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rusted From the Rain by Billy Talent


	5. Breathe Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint believes something is wrong with him. On Asgard Loki has taken ill and tells Thor that his and Barton's problems may have the same solution. With Barton's worst fear coming true, can the team trust that this isn't some ploy by Loki?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The Avengers characters are not mine, just borrowed for this story.
> 
> Warnings: language and violence.

Sound was the first thing that registered, which was surprising because it was nothing more than the soft hum of the helicarrier's engines. Feeling was the next sense to return. The air was cool and he was definitely lying down on something; soft would have been too kind a word to describe it but it wasn't uncomfortable. At the sensation of something wrapped around his wrists and ankles, Clint decided it was time to open his eyes. The grey walls of the containment room came into focus as he pulled on the restraints experimentally. He tried to wrack his brain for what had happened; nothing good ever preceded waking up in what basically boiled down to a cell strapped down and alone.

Barton remembered getting the call for the team to assemble, arriving at the apartment complex, and taking the back entrance with Natasha. They had gotten into a scuffle in the back alley and then it all went black. Fear started to claw at his reserves. What had happened to Natasha?. Had the thugs gotten the better of them? Of all the times to have one of his black out episodes. Something horrible must have happened because nothing stopped the Black Widow from being at his bedside if it could be helped.

Another terrifying thought gripped him as he realized no one from the team was there. Someone would be there to make sure he was alright, to give him an update of the situation, but he was utterly alone, not even a nurse or security guard. He took a moment to get his growing panic under control. Where was his team? The situation was nothing they shouldn't have been able to handle; surely they made it back. The one time he needed them, the one time he expected them to be there, and they weren't.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two nurses walked in carrying a tray of supplies and moved around Barton with cold detachment. He could see the heavily armed security guard lurking just outside the door for their safety.

Clint asked, "can you tell me what's going on here?"

Neither nurse made eye contact or spoke up. Instead, one swabbed his arm in preparation for the other to draw a vial of blood. He didn't fight them, just let them continue with their task. No matter what happened, he was still a SHIELD agent and he wasn't going to harm another member of this agency again even though he wanted nothing more than to escape his bonds and look for the Avengers.

"Can you tell what the status of the Avengers is? Please!" His desperation must have struck a chord with the younger nurse.

She leaned closer. "The Avengers have been released from medical."

The guard cleared his throat and the nurses dutifully took their sample and left the archer alone. The information calmed some of his nerves; the team was ok and cleared from medical, but why hadn't any of them come yet? Why would they have to be in medical? He knew he was missing time again and all the possibilities of what he could have done or could have let happen during that time terrified him.

This is what happens when you trust people he thought. It wasn't a new lesson; the universe had tried to teach it to him on many occasions. He had no one to blame but himself for being disappointed at the situation. His next thought was what had he done to drive them away; though he had his suspicions. The team certainly had enough reasons over the last year. He had to have done something to land himself here again.

The other possibility was that something had happened to them. That would be his fault too. Clint cursed himself under his breath. He knew he should have mentioned the blackouts earlier but he had foolishly prayed that they would go away. He seemed to be the cause of all the team's problems. He had selfishly wanted it not to be him this time and that desire could have gotten his team hurt. He didn't deserve the loyalty they had shown him in the past. Maybe they figured it out and that's why they weren't here now.

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Tony was tapping his fingers on various surfaces tactfully ignoring the glare from Rogers. Natasha sat next to Steve with her casted arm resting on the table, having ditched her sling once she exited the medical bay. Fury was the last to join the meeting with the exception of Bruce, who was set to join them via video conference.

The mood of the room was solemn and Fury had to admit he wasn't feeling overly optimistic himself. Tapping a button on the consol before him, the video screen flickered to life and Banner moved into frame. "Alright, let's start with what we know."

"We had the bad guys on the run," explained the Captain. Those not willing to fight had fled and the rest just needed to be secured. The support team was starting clean-up and I was coordinating with them. Stark was doing one last perimeter search to make sure we didn't miss any strays and Romanoff and Barton were supposed to be moving back to my position to regroup."

Fury nodded and shifted his focus to Natasha, who picked up where he left off. "Agent Barton had his back to me and was taking out two targets. I was engaged with my own hostiles but I know he took one out. I heard him release the arrow. I finished off my guys and called to make sure he was ready to move back to the rally point; he didn't answer me." She shifted her focus from the team to a trivial point on the table before she continued. "He just collapsed. I checked him for injury after I took care of the last man but he never moved a muscle. I was kneeling next to him when he moved to hit me. That's when I noticed his eyes. It wasn't Barton any more. He engaged and I tried to subdue him. That's when Stark showed up and pulled him off of me."

Tony added, "I grabbed him by the shoulder and ripped him off of Romanoff. I didn't know exactly what was going on so I didn't throw him that hard. He rolled with it and popped up, stood there for a minute then his eyes rolled up and he dropped."

"Medical sent me the results for all of the tests they ran," reported Bruce, who had been trying to catch up with events on the latest mission that he had missed.

"And what can we conclude, Doctor?" asked the Director.

"When you brought him in, the test results were the same as when he was first subdued on the helicarrier during the whole Loki debacle. The latest test suggests he's almost back to normal."

Fury raised his eyebrow. "Almost?"

"The readings can detect the faint signature of Tesseract energy."

"Except that it's a year later and we're having a repeat performance," interjected Tony, "so it didn't dissipate last time."

"But it did. I've seen the test results from the weeks following Loki's attack. There was no sign of anything abnormal and the test we did after Keres showed no sign of Tesseract energy. It hasn't just been dormant for the last year. It's been gone. He had to have been re-exposed." Bruce thought back to all of the tests he had run for Clint after his return from being held by the Council and mental kicked himself for not running every test possible while trying to reassure Clint that the Council hadn't re-introduced the serum to the archer. If he had, then he might have been able to detect when Hawkeye had been exposed to Tesseract energy.

The team was silently pondering when Clint might have been exposed and how. They all looked up startled when Bruce started speaking. "You're going to be what destroys your friends. You're going to be the end of everything and they're never going to let you go."

"What?" asked Tony, though he wasn't the only one confused about what Banner was going on about.

"That's what Mason told Clint in the woods." The doctor began flipping through the mess papers on his desk in a frantic search for the files he found earlier but hadn't been able to get through before he was informed of the latest events.

"What does that have to do with this?" asked Rogers.

"Are you saying this is tied into the councilman somehow?" Tony was starting to follow his friend's train of thought and the station it was departing him from was rather dark and scary.

"Why would they want Barton under Loki's control? Wouldn't that be counterproductive?" Steve might not understand the science behind such a plan, but he couldn't see a tactical advantage to it either.

"Hold that thought for a moment." Bruce disappeared from the screen as he continued his quest for the papers he needed.

"Performing some other questionable research there, Nick?" Tony directed his usual scowl at the Director.

"Last time I checked, I didn't answer to you, Stark. I can say that no one at SHIELD has done anything to Agent Barton," informed Fury.

"What about the Council?" inquired Stark.

"Barton's incarceration was spearheaded by our rogue councilman; the rest of the council wouldn't do anything to jeopardize the security of this organization by compromising an agent like this."

"Why don't we ask them?"

"If we do that, Stark, then they would know that Barton is under someone's control and what do you think their solution for that will be?" The threat was clear, but that didn't make finding answers any easier. The director was right that telling the Council would put Hawkeye back on their radar in a very bad way, but maintaining secrecy in an already complicated situation made it that much more difficult to find the answers they needed. Natasha was slightly relieved that the Director hadn't informed the Council.

"Assuming this isn't a relapse from last time, why would someone target Agent Barton and not another Avenger?" proposed Romanoff.

"Because it's Clint." Tony had noticed the sudden impersonal position Widow was taking in regards to her partner. He understood her desire to want to separate the man who had her back from the blue-eyed monster bent on attacking her but, at the end of the day, the team was all Clint had. He was going to need them more now than ever so they were just going to have to put their own baggage on hold for awhile. "First, Loki got to him and used his whammy to make Clint his willing slave, then he got infected with SHIELD's dirty little secret Keres which made him a homicidal crazy -"

"Exactly!" interrupted Bruce. He sat back down with stack of papers in his hands.

"I'm lost," Steve admitted. Natasha nodded slightly in agreement and Fury shifted his glare towards the screen indicating that someone better start spelling things out very soon.

Bruce's expression turned solemn. "This is all my fault."

"What's your fault?" asked Tony, failing to see how anything Banner could or could not do would put a teammate in this kind of predicament.

"I wasn't listening to what Clint was actually telling me," confessed the doctor.

"What did he tell you?" Tony asked slowly as he tried to keep his growing dread at bay.

Frantically flipping through the papers he had collected, Bruce's head continued to shake. "All those nights in the lab, he kept telling me that he didn't feel right,; that something was off. I- I kept brushing it off as stress and trauma from everything that happened with the Council, I never thought..."

"Bruce, I can speak Scienceese, but I'm gonna need to buy a vowel to follow you on this one." Stark said, trying to get his friend to focus on the problem and not the rapidly growing weight of self-imposed guilt.

"He kept mentioning that he didn't feel like himself, that sometimes he felt like he was here but not really. He said that while he was being held after medical he felt empty and detached and couldn't shake the weird coldness that had gripped him."

The team continued to stare at the screen with equal looks of confusion.

Bruce looked up at the monitor displaying the team. "Those are the same descriptions that the agents that were taken by Loki gave about their experience. It's what Clint himself had reported to some degree when medical and psych talked with him after New York." The doctor flipped through more papers. "That's when they did it... during his stint in medical before the trial. That's when they exposed him to the Tesseract's energy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Breathe Me by Sia


	6. This Isn't Everything You Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint believes something is wrong with him. On Asgard Loki has taken ill and tells Thor that his and Barton's problems may have the same solution. With Barton's worst fear coming true, can the team trust that this isn't some ploy by Loki?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The Avengers characters are not mine, just borrowed for this story.
> 
> Warnings: language and violence.

The path that led them to this point was so clear it hurt. Bruce knew there would be time to kick themselves later for not seeing the potential of this very moment. With the exception of Tony, the rest of the team hadn't pieced everything together and, for an instant, Banner wished he was that blissfully unaware. The whole lab where Banner was was designed to research and test Tesseract energy with the exception of experiment X173A-K. "Keres was designed to be a highly effective truth serum that turned the subject into a sleeper agent. Due to problems with the serum, the subject would self-destruct but, when Clint was exposed, we managed to create an antidote."

"So?" Rogers interjected.

"So, Clint almost took out the entire team while under its influence. Based on our experience, the Councilman had a way to slow down the progression of Keres to a point where, if something happened so that Clint wouldn't be receiving the medication, he'd be susceptible to a relapse. If Loki took control of Clint while he was infected, that homicidal tendency would build up until Barton took Loki out. The Councilman was hoping to determine if someone under the Tesseract's influence could still succumb to Keres' influence. That's what they were working towards at this lab."

"Which is why the Councilman worked so hard to get the Council to pursue charges against Hawkeye in the first place. He's the only person who's been in both scenarios and the Council could justify making him disappear," added Tony.

"They weren't going to kill him. The Councilman was going to fake Clint's death so they could have the perfect test subject that no one would be looking for," clarified Banner.

Steve interjected, "but he seemed to be in control since we got him back. Last time, he was completely under Loki's control; this time, everything was fine up until he attacked Natasha."

Tony snapped his fingers. "Loki's scepter. That's what he used to take control of those agents; it stands to reason that it helped him direct the energy to a specific purpose; without it, we get what happened today: Barton without direction."

"So, basically, if it's timed right, anyone could command Barton to do something and he would obey them?" asked Romanoff.

Stark nodded. "Or default back to the last order Loki issued."

"Destroy the helicarrier?" questioned Rogers.

"Kill me," corrected the Black Widow.

"We sent the Tesseract back with Thor. How could they infect him?" asked Steve.

"Hydra," answered Bruce. "From what I've seen so far, most of the research here came from a Hydra base. They were doing experiments with the Tesseract up until..."

The Captain interrupted, "until I dumped it in the ocean."

"Right, but they managed to siphon off some of the energy...a lot actually and they stored it for their experiments and weapons. When the base was raided the Council confiscated everything involved in their research."

"Can we undo this?" asked the Director.

Bruce looked rather apologetic. "I haven't gotten that far into the data yet."

"What about our tried and true method?" asked Stark.

"I don't think bashing him on the head is going to work this time, Tony. It's probably safe to say that Clint's banged his head at some point between now and when we rescued him. And for argument's sake, if it was going to work, we would have to be certain that Clint wasn't in control when we hit him," explained Banner.

The billionaire fiddled with his phone when it began beeping."We need to hurry this meeting up. I got the page that Clint's been awake for a while and he's probably wondering why the hell none of us are there. I'm sure he's killing himself with guilt over what happened, so chop chop."

"Dr. Banner, what do you need to figure this out?" snapped Fury.

"A couple more sets of eyes wouldn't hurt. If I need Tony for anything, I can email it to him. It's probably better to keep the rest of the team there in case Clint loses control again."

"Done. The rest of you go see how Barton is and find out if there's any way we can predict if and when there's going to be another episode. In the mean time, I want him confined to the observation room. I will not have a repeat of last time."

The team nodded their understanding as Fury swept out of the room. None of them were thrilled about this recent turn of events and even less so at the prospect of having to tell their friend. The three remaining Avengers solemnly walked down to medical.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clint didn't turn his head when he heard the lock click open, just continued to stare at the grey walls and contemplate just how screwed he probably was. He wasn't surprised he'd ended up in a containment cell. Nothing good had happened to him in the last year, so this was really a perfect way to round it out. He really wished he had voluntarily locked himself away the first time he lost time. If anything happened to the team or the mission because of him, he knew he would never forgive himself.

"Clint," called Tony.

Barton had heard the tone Tony was using before. It was the tone used when trying to offer condolences. 'Sorry but your parents have died.' 'Coulson didn't make it,' etc, etc. He cautiously turned his head, still keeping his gaze fixed on the ground. His stomach unknotted slightly as he caught blue pants tucked into red boots, black leather meeting black boots, and designer pants draping over top of runners that probably cost as much as a small car. They were all there and able to stand, so that was something.

Slowly, he raised his head. There was an odd silence. Steve was fidgeting, his gaze never venturing any further than the foot of the bed. Tony was staring at him like he was waiting for Clint to speak first, and Natasha had placed herself behind Rogers, refusing to look anywhere near Barton. Their aversion was worse than being left alone.

"How you doing, buddy?" offered Stark after it was clear that Clint wasn't going to lead the conversation. Hawkeye rolled his eyes and lifted his wrist as far as he could. Hawkeye rolled his eyes and lifted his wrist as far as he could, rattling the chain connecting it to the bed. "Yeah," offered Tony as way of apology, "we kind of have to take precautions."

"Precautions against what?"

"You don't know what happened?" asked Stark, surprised. "But last time you..."

"I what? I've been losing time for a while. I know I should have mentioned it..."

That got Rogers' attention. "What?! Why didn't you tell us? That could affect the team, Barton; you knowingly put us at risk for this?" He regretted his words as soon as they left his mouth and Clint recoiled slightly from their spitefulness.

Keeping his focus on the restraint around his wrist, the archer replied, "not really up to being a lab rat, Cap." He didn't notice them all flinch at the term lab rat. "I kind of like the brief moments I'm not under medical scrutiny, all things considered."

"So you have no idea what happened?" asked Tony trying to steer clear of adding to the growing awkwardness filling the room. The subject of their concern shook his head and glanced up trying to get his first glimpse of Natasha, who was still lingering behind the Captain and had yet to add her two cents. "What is the last thing you remember?"

Clint ran through his last memories all the while trying unsuccessfully to lock eyes with his partner to gain some reassurance. "I remember the call and going in through the back. There was a kid and when we came out we were attacked. The kid got away and there were four guys left and then... I woke up here and there was no one around, then the nurses came in and then no one until you guys showed up."

"Yeah, sorry about that. Got stuck in a meeting with Fury," explained the billionaire.

Barton tried to clear his dry throat and Steve dutifully moved over to the side table to get the man a glass of water. It was the least he could do for snapping; not that the issue wasn't serious or didn't need to be addressed, but they had bigger problems to address first. As Rogers moved to the side, Natasha came into view for the first time. Clint's heart dropped at the sight of the bright white cast.

Tony caught his wide-eyed stare at Romanoff's cast. Someone was going to have to explain that it was his fault. Stark really didn't want to be that someone. Seriously, wasn't it the Captain's job to deliver the bad news? "Clint, you didn't just lose time this time. You kind of went all Loki's flying monkey minus the Loki part."

"What?!" Clint blanched. "I don't understand... how's that even possible?"

If he had ever wondered what it would feel like to gut Barton like a fish, Tony was pretty sure he knew now. Bruce had sent the first file he had found to Stark while they were on their way to the medical unit and conveniently highlighted all the sections that depicted times that, had they paid more attention or asked more questions, they might have been able to head this off at the pass. Forget rage monsters, right now guilt was the monster eating away at all of them. He took a deep breath and steeled himself against the worry in those troubled grey eyes. "Those tests that medical ran while the Council was trying to condemn you weren't so much tests to prove Loki no longer had control. Turns out they were trying to reapply the Tesseract's control. That explains why you reacted so badly to the drugs at your execution and why JARVIS couldn't get a reading on you when we were trying to dig you and Bruce out of the rubble when the warehouse collapsed."

Tony could see the growing panic in Barton. What he was going to say next certainly wasn't going to make him feel any better, but it appeared that the rest of the team wasn't willing to share the burden of being the bearer of bad news. He would call them both cowards later, ignoring how much he desperately wanted to be a coward right along with them Barton deserved honesty and some unfortunate bastard had to do it. "When you were in the alley fighting, you collapsed. When Natasha went to check on you, you attacked her sporting a pair of overly blue eyes."

"And I did that," whispered Clint, fixated on Natasha's cast. All of Pepper's subtle hints at starting a family must have permeated his brain because Tony was suddenly overcome with the parental urge to scoop Clint up protect him from the world when he heard the desperate and broken quality in his voice and saw that lost look in his eyes.

Romanoff suddenly became very fascinated with the door handle. She didn't have to see Barton to know that he was slowly unravelling before them. One of the worst experiences of his life was suddenly reoccurring and, again, he was helpless to stop it. Still, she couldn't forget the look he'd had as he snapped her arm, the objective-obsessed gleam that he'd also had on the helicarrier that would not be satisfied until she lay bleeding and broken before him. The worst part was she wasn't sure if self preservation would trump keeping him alive if it happened again. She knew she should be offering him reassurances and downplaying the injury, but she was afraid that, if she looked up, she would be faced with the blue eyes of a killer, the killer that was slowly going to destroy both of them. It hurt to see that much pain, uncertainty, doubt, and self hatred on Clint's face.

Her silence confirmed all of Clint's fears. "That's impossible; I don't remember any of it!"

"We think the effect is unstable because they didn't have magic and the scepter to influence the Tesseract energy. That would explain why it's not exactly like last time. But don't worry cause Bruce and I are going to figure it out, so..." Tony trailed off as he ran out of reassuring words.

Clint closed his eyes to try and fight back the tears he refused to shed. "Could you guys leave?"

"Clint, we are going to figure this out. We won't let it play out like last time," tried Stark.

"Just... I'm kind of tired. Could you go?" He had already injured Natasha and put the rest of them at risk. The least he could do now was release them from their discomfort at being around him. Their pity was exhausting and, though Clint would never have thought it, lying was very unbecoming of Stark; having to watch Natasha try to pretend that she didn't want to run out of the room and Steve try to fight back the urge to kick the potential threat off of the Avengers was equally as exhausting.

"Sure, buddy. We'll be back later. If you need anything, just call," offered Tony as he gave Clint's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. Rogers and Romanoff followed him out of the room and down the hall. The second he was sure they were out of shouting range of Barton he let loose. "What the hell was that? Way to show team support guys. Was I the only one in there?"

"Fuck you, Stark!" retorted Romanoff. How dare he call her on anything? He wasn't the one that Loki had sent Barton after, the one that was clearly his target. He wasn't the one who had to watch the most important person in his life become that thing that offered death and destruction while it slowly killed the man inside.

Steve just stood there looking sheepish. This was a member of his team that was suffering. This was his fault. He had failed to stop the Council from kidnapping Clint to start with; he hadn't gotten a rescue together fast enough to stop Clint from being exposed to Keres. The only thing Rogers could take credit for was consistently letting the man down. Even this time, he had failed to be strong and reassure Barton. But, most importantly, he had failed to stop Clint from doing the one thing the archer feared most: hurting Natasha.

"It's pretty sad when we have a situation and I'm the only adult in the room," snapped Tony as he stormed off down the corridor. After a moment of silence, Natasha marched off in another direction leaving Steve to make his way off on his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Isn't Everything You Are by Snow Patrol


	7. What Do You Want From Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint believes something is wrong with him. On Asgard Loki has taken ill and tells Thor that his and Barton's problems may have the same solution. With Barton's worst fear coming true, can the team trust that this isn't some ploy by Loki?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The Avengers characters are not mine, just borrowed for this story.
> 
> Warnings: language and violence.

"So do we even know how this works?" asked Tony.

"It took some doing but, thanks to Ms Foster, we are able to communicate to Thor," informed Fury.

Tony eyed the contraption before him. "It's not much to look at; in fact, it looks like an old handheld radio. You know I could take this apart and come up with something way more aesthetically pleasing."

"Stark!"growled the Director.

"You never yell at him," grumbled Tony as he pointed to Rogers, who was looming at the back of the room.

"He doesn't annoy me like you do."

"Fair enough." Iron Man shrugged and went back to contacting Thor. With any luck, the god could shed some light on finding a way to fix Barton.

"Hey,Goldilocks, can you hear me?"

"I can indeed! To what do I owe this unexpected contact, Man of Iron?" Tony didn't know how someone could sound that enthusiastic all the time.

"We have a little problem here."

"You are not the only one, my friend," came the grave reply. The shift from his enthusiastic greeting was noticeable. It seemed suddenly that the warrior had the weight of the universe on his shoulders.

"Yeah? I bet our problem trumps your problem. Your brother's whammy is still affecting Barton. He had another case of the blues and we were hoping you might know a way to purge someone of Tesseract energy."

"I do not, but Loki does. He may be suffering similar ill effects," replied Thor.

"Is he willing to share that information with you and do you think it would be trustworthy?" interrupted the Director.

"I fear it would be something Loki would have to do himself."

"No!" Fury's threat managed to carry throughout the room.

"As I said, I fear the archer is not the only one afflicted. Loki has also taken ill due to the effects of the Tesseract and claims he can use the cube as well as his scepter to purge the energy from himself. I would require Loki's scepter back."

"Hell no! We allowed you to take your brother back to Asgard with the cube because he was going to be brought to justice. There is no way I'm going to let you bring him back here and give him the two things he almost destroyed the world with," declared Fury.

Tony interjected, "look, I know this sounds like a bad idea but we can take precautions. We can lock Loki up and get him to show us how to save Barton then save the little weasel while we're at it so he can rot back in Asgard."

"Tony, we can't risk the world for one person even if he's our teammate," said Steve.

Stark pointed at Captain America, emphasizing each word he spit out. "You're really willing to just let this happen? You're fine with losing a team member?"

"It's not like that. Barton is an important member of this team, but we can't sacrifice the world for him."

"Fine. You figure out the logistics of abandoning your soldier to his fate. But I'm not going to stand here and listen to you do it."

Tony turned to storm out of the room, stopping only when Rogers called out "Where are you going?"

"Someone has to go and reassure Clint that, despite the fact that we have a clear option that you don't want to take, there's still hope that we can fix this." Tony turned on his heels and left.

Steve wanted to help Clint and he could hear the underlying pain in Thor's voice as the Asgardian continued to describe his brother's failing health. He wanted to make things right for both of his friends, but he couldn't be selfish enough to put the world in jeopardy for the glimmer of hope of a trickster's promises.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tony didn't know what was worse, the fact that they were keeping Clint tied down or the fact that Barton wasn't fighting it. Stark had worked so hard to save Clint from the Council before and here they were again, same problems, different bad guys...though Tony was pretty sure he'd be depressed too if he had to keep slogging through life like Clint. He brought in a chair to sit beside his friend despite the guard's protest about supplying unnecessary potential weapons. If the archer could take out all of SHIELD with a chair, they deserved to be taken down anyway. Clint's hopelessness was so thick it was choking Stark. He knew what he had to do, everyone else be damned.

"We'll figure this out, Barton. Thor suggested Loki might be able to help."

Clint's head snapped up. "Absolutely not! Are you fucking crazy?" In no universe was he going to be the answer to Barton's prayers.

"He might be able to help you," countered Tony. He couldn't say he wouldn't have the exact same response as Barton if the situation was reversed, but Stark didn't do helpless even if it meant he had to consider accepting help from Loki. "We don't know enough about the cube and what it can do to figure this out on our own."

"He almost destroyed the world last time! You can't bring him back on my account!"

"I can keep him under control. I'll reinforce the lab. Fort Knox will call me for tips." Stark sighed. He needed someone on his side for this plan. "He's the only one that knows what's happening, Clint. I don't like it any more than you do but it's the only play we have."

"No, it's not."

"You have a couple cards up your sleeve?"

"Just let it run its course, Stark. Then put me in whatever cage you have planned for Loki and throw away the key."

"You really want to go through life as a mindless automaton? Cause if that's really what you want, I can support any lifestyle you choose."

"Just walk away before you get hurt, Tony. I can't control myself; I can't even want to protect you guys from me."

"Can't do that, Clint. I've put too much time, energy, and money into you to just walk away now. Besides, I put all my flirting efforts into convincing the medical staff that you'd be just as supervised and comfortable back at the Tower."

"I tried to kill Natasha and you just want to set me loose in the Tower?"

"Well, see, I am a genius and, as such, I can implement security protocols that will have you locked up and taking a drug-induced nap before you pick up anything sharp, so we're going home until we figure this out."

With operation 'Liberate the Bird' a rousing success, Tony decided to continue his disobedient streak and set to work building his own device to contact a galaxy far far away. Clint was currently sulking in his room, but Tony had to admit he was doing better than when he was aboard the helicarrier being treated like public enemy number one. It took a fair bit of convincing, but after reassuring Barton that Stark was the only person at the Tower right now, 'and thus the only person he could even attempt to strangle in the middle of the night,' the archer relented under Stark's insistence. Tony was going to have to analyze that more closely later.

Tony connected the final circuit and flipped a switch. Nothing blew up; not that it should have, he did follow the blueprints he just hacked from SHIELD, to the letter. He decided to test it out. "Can anyone hear me? Thor, you there, buddy?"

It took a few moments but finally Thor responded. "Man of Iron, did Fury reconsider?"

"Well, no, I'm kind of back at the Tower. Fury doesn't know about this little chat."

"Then how are you able to correspond with Asgard?"

"Your girlfriend's not the only one that can make interplanetary transmitters, but we'll talk about copyright law later. How sure are you that Loki can fix Clint; and I mean fix not manipulate this into what happened last time?"

"Loki can be quite manipulative, but I think in this circumstance he has much to lose by not cooperating."

"I'm prepared to make a deal with you, Thor. Not the devil. You. He needs to stay under lock and key and play super nice and you need to bring the whammy block. I'll practice my secret spy moves or lack thereof and get the scepter but I swear, Thor, he takes one misstep or looks at Barton the wrong way and he's not going back to endure Asgardian justice."

"I understand and agree to your terms. I will take full responsibility for Loki."

"Good. How soon can you get here?"

"The day after tomorrow."

"Right. Oh and let's keep this on the down low. What Fury doesn't know won't cause him to kill us. I've got to go. The spangley man with a plan just walked in and it looks like he's about to burst a blood vessel."

Stark turned off the device and turned on his thousand watt smile. "Captain, so nice of you to drop in where you weren't invited."

"What are you doing, Stark?" snapped Rogers. "You convinced medical to release Barton into your custody. He's a danger right now."

"First, it's Clint, it's still Clint, no matter what happens. Why you people feel better about distancing yourself from that is beyond me. Second, if he is this looming threat, you'd think medical wouldn't be so easy to convince that I actually had authority to take him out of there. Third, he's more a danger to himself than anyone else at the moment and, for the record, he's doing a bit better here around friends than locked up like some animal."

Steve glared at the defiance being leveled at him. "He needs to be under observation. What if something happens? Innocent people could get hurt."

"If that's the precedent, then you better jump on a plane to secret spy lab Nowheresville and lock Bruce up. And while we're at it, I seem to recall someone saying that Captain America is on the SHIELD threat list. Better put you and all those angry bees in a cage somewhere too!" argued Tony as he slammed into Steve's shoulder as he passed by. "You want to lock him up so bad, you can go and tell him yourself."

"Why are you of all people championing for Barton?" Steve had been impressed that Stark was starting to put other people before himself, but there was still so much of the self-absorbed first impression that Steve had seen to believe that Stark had completely changed.

"He saved Pepper, he didn't kill us when he went crazy and, against better judgment, he keeps trying to put us before himself." Really Tony wanted to explain that Clint was one of the only people to risk his life for the billionaire without being asked or wanting something from Tony. Stark didn't have very many people in his life like that and it wasn't as if they were best friends either; Clint had started looking out for Stark before he even really knew the man.

Rogers watched Tony fiddle with his computers for a moment. God help him, he could see Stark's side of the argument, but still... "Why do you always have to go against orders?"

"Because I hate to lose, Rogers! And you should too! This is Clint. How can we not try? After everything that's happened, how can we not want to give it all we're got to help him? He wouldn't do any less for us and you know it."

"This isn't a game, Stark. Billions of lives hang in the balance and you want to bring Loki back here."

"I find myself not caring about the billions right now, more just the one."

"And what does Barton have to say about all of this? I can't believe he'd go along with your plan," countered Rogers.

"He told me I was crazy and under no circumstance should I allow Loki to come here. But Clint's a real hero; he'd rather suffer an eternity as a prisoner in his own head than take a chance."

"Why is this so important to you?"

"Because, we've been strutting around like god damn heroes since New York. You would think if we could save the world we would be able to save one person, but we ignored him. Barton shows up to every damn team game, gets smacked around and still picks himself up and roots for the team. He fights every day and he does it without superpowers, inner beasts, super suits, or scary Soviet spy training; he does it with heart. Clint's the heart of this team. If we lose him, then we fail; if we can't protect that then we have no right being in the hero business."

"You're right," relented Rogers.

"What?"

"You're right, Tony. We owe Clint. But we can't just not consider the impact this might have. Are you sure you can keep Loki contained, because I can't let you bring him here if this is going to turn into another blood bath."

"I can make it so no one gets out of the lab," assured Tony.

Steve took a deep breath. He made his decision; he was going to have faith that his team didn't need his protection and could rise up to the challenge. Tony could do as promised and, if something should happen, the team could stop this from becoming a nightmare. It was worth the risk. The pay off was something they all desperately needed. Begrudgingly, he offered, "I'll go distract Fury and try to stop him from nuking the Tower when he finds out you brought Loki here."

Tony smiled. This was the closest to support he was going to get. "You know, sometimes I find myself actually not disliking you, Cap."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What Do You Want From Me by Adam Lambert


	8. Blue Monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint believes something is wrong with him. On Asgard Loki has taken ill and tells Thor that his and Barton's problems may have the same solution. With Barton's worst fear coming true, can the team trust that this isn't some ploy by Loki?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The Avengers characters are not mine, just borrowed for this story.
> 
> Warnings: language and violence.

Tony was really beginning to wonder about SHEILD security protocols, but decided he would wait to raise the issue until he had returned the scepter. Romanoff and Rogers were performing their duty as speed bumps for Fury when he undoubtedly discovered the arrival of their captive guest. The scepter was in the lab and Loki was so far cooperating with his transport back to Earth and down to the lab. The Tesseract was left upstairs for the time being. Stark had faith in his work, but why tempt fate by putting all three sources of concern together; he had even asked Barton to stay in his room. He supposed the archer agreed simply because Tony had given him back his bow, a decision he was hoping he wouldn't have to pay for with his life.

The fact that Loki had actually looked like he was dying when he arrived offered a twisted sense of relief. The Asgardians arrived on Stark Tower roof to make both transporting Loki to his cell and staying away from SHIELD easier. If they could pull this off without a hitch then Fury would have to eat his words. Thor had a strong grip on his brother's arm which not only seemed to keep the trickster upright but prevented him from getting too far away from his brother.

Stark had no qualms about leaving Loki to his fate and if that meant a slow and painful death, all the better, considering he tried to enslave an entire planet. But at the end of the day it was still Thor's brother and despite everything that still seemed to mean something to the thunder god. Though Tony was sure they would live to regret it, they would help try and heal Loki as well, if only for the sake of Thor. If the god was truly as screwed as Stark hoped he was, then the games would be kept to a minimum and things could actually work out.

It was just the three of them in the elevator and silence rained heavily. There was no small talk just quiet focus. Being that close to genuine evil made Tony's skin crawl. Much to everyone's surprise the god of mischief willing followed his brother from the elevator to the lab Stark had set up.

"I think you'll find this as secure as the last room we put you up in," offered Tony as he stood just outside the containment area while Thor escorted his brother across the threshold. Tony still wasn't overly comfortable with getting up close and personal with Loki just yet. Memories of fly through a window were a little too fresh in his mind so he opted to let Thor handle things for now.

"Right," chuckled Loki as he surveyed the human's laughable attempts to contain him. He would laugh if he wasn't so infuriated at the fact that these pitiful, incompetent, gullible fools had foiled his earlier plot.

"Are you willing to give up your foolish games while you are here or are your bindings necessary," inquired Thor. He knew he shouldn't hold an abundance of hope that his brother would tire of his quest for vengeance and cooperate without threat.

Loki smiled and turned towards his companion, his frail stature shifting back to the tall proud one that had been present during the invasion. "I really don't think it will be a problem." With a twist of his wrist and snap of his finger the restraints were gone and a set of small silver blades appeared in his hand. Really, Thor's poor understanding of his abilities made this all too easy for him.

The flash of silver caught Thor's eye and he moved to relieve his brother of the weapons. Loki slammed his hand into Thor's chest with magically-reinforced strength, sending the large blond flying across the room. In the same instant, he threw the blades in Tony's direction. Completely stunned by this turn of events the billionaire had yet to take action.

By the time Stark's brain registered what was happening, the trickster was staring at him with a large toothy grin. The lights dimmed and began to flash red and the security alarm sounded, initiating lockdown procedures. The warm wet feeling spreading over Tony's chest pulled his eyes down and his hand up.

Stark knew he was brilliant, a genius really, but for some reason his mind couldn't come up with the word for the substance that was spreading across his shirt. The scene had an all too familiar feeling to it; the complete numbness, the way everything else seemed to fade away leaving him to ponder just why the growing red stain was problematic. It hit him about the same time as his legs buckled and he tipped backwards. He landed flat on his back, sucking in ragged breaths.

Loki moved back into the lab to focus his rage on his brother once more, leaving Iron Man bleeding on the floor beyond the transparent walls that were slowly sliding together to lock down the lab.

Barton, who had been tense and suited up (because Stark's idea was really insane and doomed to fail), jumped off his bed, grabbed his bow, and swung his quiver on his back. The alarm blared through every part of the tower and the archer slammed through the fire door to the stairway and began taking the steps two at a time all the way down to the lab they had taken Loki to. He knew the god of mischief would try something and now the tower was locking down to prevent him from escaping into the city. If it was the last thing he did, he would put an arrow in Loki. He burst through the door and ran towards the lab. The large security door was just about closed when he slipped past it. Loki loomed over Thor while Hawkeye pulled an arrow and sighted his target.

Loki waved his hand, redirecting the arrow into the wall. He crossed the space in three quick steps and blocked Clint's attempt to attack him with the bow. With his other hand, he grabbed the pesky human by the throat and lifted Barton to his eye level. The archer's bow firmly in his grasp, he crushed it with all the strength and magic he possessed, shattering it to pieces that clanged against the floor.

Clint kicked his feet out in an attempt to hit the god. He tried to pull Loki's thumb and break it in hopes that the Asgardian would release him from the suffocating grip. His left hand swung towards Loki as well. None of his strategies were successful.

"Loki, stop this!" demanded Thor as he stormed towards his brother.

Loki turned his head to glare at the prince, and then moved his gaze to the swarm of SHIELD agents that had taken up positions outside the sealed lab. An evil smile swept over his face as he examined Barton futilely struggling in his grasp. Clint could see the wheels turning in the god's mind as he struggled for breath.

"Of course. Where are my manners?" replied Loki as he released Barton. The archer dropped to the ground gasping for breath and rubbed a hand over his aching throat. Raising his hands in defeat, Loki moved to the other side of the room to allow Thor space to see to his friend. The agents outside kept their guns raised even though the glass sealing the lab was comprised of the same nearly indestructible material that the Hulk's cage aboard the helicarrier had been.

Barton let out a hoarse cough. A flurry of activity outside the lab caught his attention. Not bothering to pick himself off the floor, he turned his head to take in the scene. A medical team had made it down and were frantically working on someone. The archer leaned back a little to get a better view of who exactly was down. As one of the medics reached to grab something from her medical kit, the soft blue glow of Stark's arc reactor came into view. "Stark."

Clint sprung to his feet and pressed himself to the glass surrounding the lab to try and get a better look at the situation unfolding just beyond his reach. Thor moved beside Clint while Loki sat himself on a chair at the other end of the room. The medical babble was beyond both Avengers, but they could tell by the frantic movements and concerned glances of the medics that it wasn't good.

After a few agonizing moments, they lifted Tony onto a stretcher. There were still several agents standing at the ready should the Asgardian try anything, but Loki seemed more than content to watch his recent efforts play out. Other agents were busy calling in the situation. No doubt some unlucky bastard had drawn the short straw and was informing Director Fury. With one medic busy pumping oxygen into the unconscious man, the other medic signalled to one of the agents, who grabbed one end of the stretcher. They started their dash towards proper medical facilities.

Tony looked bad. Thor and Barton could only watch while they were confined with the one responsible for Stark's condition.

"Is he going to be alright?" yelled Hawkeye as he pounded his fist against the glass. Stark should have listened to him and walked away. Now, he could die and all because he thought Clint was worth something.

The medics ignored him as they wheeled Stark past them and out of the corridor. Barton turned and leaned against the glass. He glared at Loki, the monster that had almost destroyed his life (not to mention the world) a year ago; he wouldn't even be back on Earth if it wasn't for Clint. Now, Tony was paying the price and Clint was stuck in the lab with the one person who may very well force him to kill everyone he cared about. Tightness gripped his chest and he sank down to his knees.

Thor watched his companion slide down the glass. He could see the fear in the archer's eyes and the wickedness in his brother's. Loki was taking great pleasure in Hawkeye's suffering, in Iron Man's injury. There was nothing he could do for Stark at the moment, though he was confident that the ingenuity of Midgardians would triumphant and repair his injured comrade. His immediate concern was how Loki planned on manipulating Barton's current predicament to shape his own plans for destruction and mayhem. He placed a reassuring hand on Clint's shoulder then shifted his gaze toward a rather bored looking trickster. He never should have trusted his brother, but he just couldn't seem to let go of the idea that Loki could be saved.

"I have all the time in the world," said Loki as he leaned back in his chair and threw his feet on the desk.

"I will not let you harm this world again, Loki," assured Thor. "Whatever ulterior motives you have, the Avengers will see to their failure.

"Yes, you and your friends. I fail to see what you are going to do. The beast is away pretending to be a man somewhere; Iron Man is on his way to Valhalla; you, brother, are on the wrong side of the cage door to be of any real value; and Agent Barton doesn't look so good. Time is on my side and soon Barton will be as well."

Clint sucked in a shaky breath. He could feel the familiar pull at the edges of his mind. He wanted to jump up and pound the god into the ground; he wanted to come up with a witty retort to hide his doubt. Instead, he just sat. He could feel Loki's eyes on him, scrutinizing every inch. The possibility that it wasn't fear that kept him paralyzed but Loki reasserting his control over him terrified him even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blue Monday by Orgy


	9. The Hand That Feeds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint believes something is wrong with him. On Asgard Loki has taken ill and tells Thor that his and Barton's problems may have the same solution. With Barton's worst fear coming true, can the team trust that this isn't some ploy by Loki?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The Avengers characters are not mine, just borrowed for this story.
> 
> Warnings: language and violence.

Steve knew what had happened the minute the alarms started going off. To say Fury was pissed would probably be the understatement of the century. It took one phone call for Fury to have several armed agents escort Natasha and him to the briefing room and lock them in. If they wanted to leave, there was no one that could stop them but, really, why continue to poke the hornet's nest. They could wait there for their dressing down from the Director. As long as Barton got help in the end, they could take whatever punishment Fury wanted to hand out.

He didn't really think there could be a more irate version of Fury. He was wrong. Fury slammed a report down on the table and glared at both the Avengers. "Which one of you wants to explain to me how, despite my explicit order not to bring Loki and the cube here, they are both presently at Stark Tower?"

"With all due respect, Director Fury..." started Rogers.

"I'm. Not. Finished! Perhaps you can tell me why you people would even think that if you did countermand my orders the Tower would hold him? Maybe someone can tell me why the hell Agent Barton is there with him, because I don't recall letting him out! Just for the sake of conversation, tell me why Thor, Barton, and Loki are trapped in said lab where security protocols have been engaged and we can't override them to get any of them out."

Romanoff and Rogers waited silently trying to determine if this was their opportunity to speak. The situation was not what they expected. Somewhere it had all gone horribly wrong. They had expected grief over bringing the god back, but such a quick escalation of the situation took them by surprise.

Fury continued, "I'll answer for you so we don't have to embarrass ourselves. I imagine Stark got it into his head that he and Thor had a hope in hell of controlling that lunatic and that he would actually help Barton. Instead of reining Stark in like you're supposed to, team captain, you let him talk you into this idiotic plan. Of course, like all good lunatics, Loki got the better of them but not before he initiated Stark's new security protocols. Except here's the part where you people fail to see the big picture; Stark hasn't finished fixing JARVIS and, while he can keep ahead of the glitches in the program, I don't employ anyone else that can. At the moment, Stark is in an operating room fighting for his life after Loki stabbed him. Thor, Barton, and Loki are trapped indefinitely in the lab because JARVIS is malfunctioning and Stark is the only one that can get them out. In short, you are down three team members, the enemy has his scepter, and you put Barton right in his grasp, so we're probably going to lose Hawkeye before this is through. And, just for the record, I will not hesitate to put a bullet in Agent Barton's head if he manages to get out of the lab with Loki because I will not have a repeat of last time."

Natasha was better at hiding her shock than Steve. In the history of fuck-ups, this was the champion. They both sat there speechless; what could they say? There was no defence and sorry didn't do the situation justice.

More importantly, Fury was right about everything. Stark was too blinded by the prospect of losing a friend, Natasha would risk everything to save her partner, Thor was blinded by loyalty to a brother who didn't deserve it, and Steve, wanting to keep everyone happy, let Tony convince him to go along with his foolish plan instead of putting his foot down. He had been selfish, wanting to give anything and everything to help Barton, and now it could very well cost innocent lives.

Fury took a deep breath and relaxed minutely, though he was still wound tighter than a spring. "I want you and Romanoff in the command center we've established at Stark Tower. You will supervise the situation..."

"Sir, we would be more effective..." interrupted the Captain.

"I don't think any of you have demonstrated the ability to make good judgment calls, so I'll say it one more time. You will supervise the situation and nothing more. Loki's going to pull out all his tricks to try and get out of that lab and the last thing I need is to have the two of you compromised as well; you're going to stay away from him unless he breaches the lab. Thor's judgment when it comes to his brother is questionable and Barton... Barton can't be counted on; I want you to keep that in mind because, if the situation calls for it, you might have to take him out as well."

"Sir?" questioned Natasha.

"You fucked this one up. Now, we're all going to have to suffer the consequences whether we like them or not. I'm going to go get an update on Stark, then I'm going to pay our invited guest a visit. You two better be in that command center before I even get to the hospital. Dismissed," snapped Fury.

The pair left silently with their heads down. They knew they'd stepped in it and now the person they'd been trying to help, not to mention the world as a whole, was in greater danger.

Hill approached after the Avengers left. "Sir, are you really issuing a shoot-to-kill order on Barton?"

Nick closed his eyes. He had known the man for years, knew his dedication to the organization and all the obstacles he had to overcome to get to where he was now. Someone had to make the difficult decisions, but that didn't make it hurt any less. "Yes. If Barton gets out of that lab, I want him taken down." Hill nodded. "I want updates on the tech team's progress. Hopefully, they can override security and we can get everyone out safely." He left for the hospital to wait for Potts and get an update on Stark.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pepper burst through the doors of the room the nurse had directed her to; her eyes immediately landed on Fury. She had been on a business trip. When a SHIELD agent had interrupted her negotiations, her stomach had dropped. The lack of information during the flight back to New York did nothing to calm her frayed nerves.

"How is he?" she demanded.

Fury raised his hands to stop any further questions. "He's in the OR. We have the best people in there right now and we have every reason to be optimistic," assured the Director.

Pepper moved closer to Fury to look through the observation window. She felt faint as she saw Tony lying deathly pale amongst a flurry of medical professionals. "How did this happen?"

"It was Loki. He wasn't as secure as we thought and he attacked Thor and Stark."

Sparing a moment of concern for her friends, Pepper asked, "is Thor OK? Where is Loki now?"

"Thor is fine for the moment. Agent Barton intervened and prevented Loki from escaping the lab before lockdown protocols engaged. At present, Thor and Barton are trapped with him."

"Clint and Thor are trapped with that monster? Why aren't you getting them out?" The very real possibility of losing half the Avengers team suddenly hit home. These were her friends that were in danger; this was her boyfriend that was fighting for his life.

Maintaining his professionalism, Fury explained, "It appears there is a problem with JARVIS."

"With JARVIS?"

"Stark was trying to install some additional programming; unfortunately, it's disrupting the system. We can't get containment protocols to disengage. I have my best people working on it, but you wouldn't happen to know any way to circumnavigate Stark's systems, would you?"

"Me? No, no, JARVIS is Tony's baby. He's made it so no one can tamper with it except him."

"I hope for their sake you're wrong about that. The doctors said they would give an update in another couple of hours." Fury snapped his fingers at a nearby agent. "Agent Miller will take you to the waiting room."

"No," stated Potts without taking her eyes off of the observation window. "No, I'm staying right here. He's not doing this alone."

The Director knew when to pick his battles and, at that moment, he knew he was no match for the formidable CEO of Stark Industries. "Alright. I have other matters to attend to right now. Agent Miller will remain here if you need anything."

Pepper nodded and Fury took his leave. Tony had survived so many things; surely, he would pull through this. The world needed Iron Man. The Avengers needed Iron Man and Pepper needed Tony Stark.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was no change in the situation when Fury managed to check in with the Tower's command center. The tech team was having no luck but still trying. The agents had been pulled out of the room and were holding position in the hall and the surrounding areas. The last thing they needed was to learn that Loki could get to people with magic through the glass cage. A healthy level of distance had been recommended.

"Well well, looks like real power got himself stuck in the lab," greeted Fury as he stood before the glass that separated the world from the trickster and two of the Avengers.

Loki smiled and leapt off of the counter he was sitting on. He strode over to the glass. "Oh, my efforts maybe momentarily stunted but, I assure you, I'll have help soon enough to rectify that."

"Which of our people have you managed to corrupt with your lies that they would journey from our world to aid your poisonous schemes?" demanded Thor. He suspected someone must have been consorting with the trickster for his powers to have grown to the level displayed today.

Loki paused for a moment before tilting his head towards his brother. "Let it be known that no one ever accused you of being the brains of the family." Turning back to Fury, he uttered, "No, Agent Barton will be dying to aid me in my quest soon enough, but I believe you already know that, Director."

The Director turned his attention to his man, who was sitting on the floor with one leg clutched to his chest and the other folded underneath him. His head was propped up on his arm, which was resting on his knee. Clint looked up when Loki mentioned his name; a look of utter defiance shone through the dark circles, pale skin, and overall haggard appearance. Fury could tell the archer was hanging on by a thread, almost as broken as the bow laying in pieces near Loki's feet.

"Fuck you, Loki," spat Barton.

"Such spirit," chuckled the trickster. "I must commend you, Director; you really do employ feisty individuals. It makes it all the more enjoyable to crush them."

"Is that what you plan to do here?"

"It's a start." Loki eyed his adversary carefully. "Tell me, if it came down to it, could you pull the trigger?" Fury looked at the god. "I can see the indecision in you; you issued the order to kill Barton if we escape here. Don't look so surprised, you'd be amazed at the things Barton told me last time. He gave away all his secrets to me; all that loyalty you thought you held from him, gone in an instant."

Fury continued his impassive stare. He wasn't going to let a two-bit god get the better of him.

"If it makes your decision easier, I'm going to rip him apart piece by piece until there's nothing left but a shell. I assure you a bullet would be a small mercy from what I'm going to do to him," hissed Loki.

The Director glanced at Clint who was still curled up in the corner. He felt a pang of sympathy for the man. He knew what Barton went through last time, how the guilt ate away at him. Even now, he could still see the pain from their last encounter hovering just under the surface. Fury wasn't sure the archer would survive another round. "And just what do you think you're going to accomplish from in there? Even if you do get Barton, you're both on the wrong side of the glass."

"Oh, I'll get him." Loki turned to glare at Hawkeye, who met the stare head on. Fury could feel the intensity of it. "Isn't that right, Barton?" asked Loki.

Clint bit down hard on his bottom lip and trembled with the effort to stay silent. It was a soft whisper but it slipped out. "Yes." Loki cackled at the admission and Clint dropped his head in shame. He could hear Thor huff in displeasure but Fury remained silent.

Loki turned back to the Director and beamed. Fury was surprised he didn't burst out in a happy dance. Nick maintained his 'take no shit' demeanour and stepped closer to the glass. "I do believe you told him to kill me once and that didn't work out the way you wanted. I have a feeling this won't work out any better."

"We shall see."

Fury turned and walked towards the door. He paused for a moment to look back at his agent."Barton, you hang on, you hear me?" Clint nodded, not sure if he could voice a response without breaking down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Hand That Feeds by Nine Inch Nails


	10. Animal I Have Become

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint believes something is wrong with him. On Asgard Loki has taken ill and tells Thor that his and Barton's problems may have the same solution. With Barton's worst fear coming true, can the team trust that this isn't some ploy by Loki?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The Avengers characters are not mine, just borrowed for this story.
> 
> Warnings: language and violence.

After Fury left, Loki went back to sitting on one of the lab tables like a king presiding over his realm. Thor knew he had been victim to yet another of Loki's ploys, that the trickster had somehow planned all of this. Thor realized a part of him knew he shouldn't trust his brother, but a much larger piece demanded that Loki be given a chance; this time would be different. All the signs of illness had faded when his brother drew his knives. Barton, however, did not look well and his concern for the archer grew.

Thor moved to sit by his friend, who was still huddled on the floor. Clint lifted pain-filled eyes. It made the thunder god want to thrash his brother but, deep down, no matter what Loki did, Thor knew he could not kill Loki. If he did take action against Loki and left him alive, Loki would make Barton's suffering worse; instead, he remained beside Hawkeye offering silent reassurance that his teammate could find the inner strength to hold out against Loki this time. He could only hope the other man couldn't see his uncertainty in that belief.

It was a long time before Clint spoke. When he finally broke the silence, it was so quiet that the Asgardian had to strain to hear it. "Thor, if things…if things get bad, someone has to be strong enough to do it." Confusion clouded Thor's face so Barton clarified. "I need you to kill me if Loki wins this."

"I cannot, my friend. You will defeat this trial." Like Loki, Thor could see the goodness in Hawkeye even when the trickster's evil threatened to taint it. He could not slay a friend even if he would eventually succumb to his brother's will.

"I can already feel him taking over and I'm not... I can't let that happen again. Please, promise me."

"I will not," said Thor.

Clint clenched his fists and jumped to his feet. His face was contorted in fury as he spat, "You're supposed to be my friend!"

Thor shook his head refusing to agree to such terms. Somewhere along the way he had started to view his teammates as more than just fellow warriors, more than just friends. They were his brothers and sister in every way except blood and, if he couldn't kill Loki after all his evil deeds, there was no way he could slay Clint.

Hawkeye needed some way to release his anger. He stomped over to the nearest table and flipped it, spilling its contents all over the floor. Loki's applause echoed in the confines of the lab after the clanging of abused lab equipment subsided. Clint stopped short of continuing his rampage. Seething with anger over providing the trickster with entertainment, Clint slunk over to the corner opposite Thor with as much dignity he could summon and curled into it with his back to his fellow prisoners.

Thor moved to confront his brother. He still held out hope that Loki could be reasoned with. "Loki, stop this madness. Whatever you are planning, if you stop it now and heal the archer, Father will welcome you home with open arms."

"You want me to help him?" asked Loki.

"Yes, brother, you did this to him."

"No, your precious humans did this to him. That manipulative squaw broke my hold over him last time. This, this is their doing now. I could sense him coming back under my influence and I knew you would come crawling to me, begging me to help this wretched specimen. These pathetic people that you hold in higher esteem than your own brother brought their own destruction; they can't keep from tearing each other apart."

"You think yourself superior to them. Show compassion here, I beg you, brother. Undo this; if your quarrel is with me, then he does not deserve this," snarled Thor.

Loki stood up in front of Thor, not backing down under his brother's physical might. "Oh, he deserves it and so much more."

"Why?"

"Because you could do no wrong in Odin's eyes. You brought war to our doorstep and still he forgives you. You disobey and still he chooses you to be his heir. All I ever was to him was a means to an end. No one ever stood a chance in your shadow. Well, I'm going to show the mighty Odin that his son can beg and grovel with the best of them and over pathetic humans no less." Thor snarled at the threat, at the hatred that flowed off Loki like water off a rose petal. "Barton deserves it because you think he's better than me. You value your team so highly. I will use him to destroy them all and, when he's done, I'll have him pay a visit to your beloved Jane and..."

Loki's threat was cut off as Thor's hand clamped around his neck. The mention of Jane shut off the rational part of Thor's brain. Loki grabbed his scepter off the table and swung it at Thor, forcing the god to release his grasp. Thor stepped back wondering just when this twisted soul had replaced his brother.

Bits and pieces of the conversation floated through Clint's haze, but any real comprehension of what was being discussed was lost in a stormy sea of blue subjugation. The only thing he did know for certain was his overwhelming desire to defy his god and his body's steadily growing necessity to capitulate.

For all that it was the same, it was also very different this time. Crueler. When Loki touched him with the scepter, all the pain and suffering lasted mere moments before the coldness of servitude punctured his soul. Sure, his agony continued through every forced action he was commanded to perform but, like being on pain medication, it wasn't important. Clint could remember every agonizing moment of being controlled but the Tesseract had clouded those feelings, pushed them back where he was entirely aware yet did not care.

This time, he was all too painfully aware of his growing loss of control. There was also the added benefit of knowing the capabilities of Loki's evil. Barton didn't need to be the god's puppet to know exactly what horrors he would be forced to inflict. There was also his unfinished business with Natasha.

"Barton!" hissed Loki.

The archer raised his head from his knees to glare at Loki. His stare was met with one of equal ferocity. Before he could stop, he found himself taking a knee in front of the man claiming dominance over his soul.

Loki ordered, "Kill Thor."

Hawkeye could feel the pull of his jaw, his serpent tongue conveying intentions not his own in a voice that he could no longer recognize as his. "Yes sir."

Clint struggled for everything he was worth but still he rose to his feet, grabbed a nearby beaker and smashed it on the table. A tremor ran up his arm as he fought to regain control of himself. He prayed for his failure, to forget every hard-earned lesson in battle, to repress the skills that had become second nature. Thor may be a god but he had several disadvantages to Clint. First, he lacked the Tesseract's driving force that would push Barton beyond his abilities and reserves. Second, he lacked familiarity with the truly horrible and underhanded things Clint was capable of. Most important, however, Thor had a soul. Clint wasn't sure he had one to start with, but seeing the trepidation and sorrow on Thor's face as he took his first swing at the thunder god, Barton knew that, if he did have one, it firmly belonged to Loki now.

Thor raised his hands in a peaceful gesture when he heard the glass shatter. He stepped back as the smaller man advanced menacingly toward him. He did not want to have to fight a fellow teammate, but he couldn't allow himself to be backed into a corner either.

"Barton," called Thor in a soothing tone. His words had little effect. The archer's eyes had shifted from grey to a light blue, not quite the full force of the Tesseract but the man was evidently not in control of his actions. The lack of traitorous deep blue meant that Loki lacked total control and thus he still had time to dissuade his brother from his vengeance. The battle was not lost yet. The pain and self-loathing reflected in Barton's eyes tore at Thor. "Clint."

Clint took a swipe at the Asgardian, the glass scraping harmlessly against the front of Thor's armour. The god was at a loss for what to do. Any retaliation on his part could cause his fellow Avenger great harm. The future ruler of Asgard was not renowned for being gentle in battle.

Hawkeye was relentless in his attack. In any other circumstance, he would have been proud of his ability to keep Thor jumping and weaving. A sigh almost escaped his lips when he struck out and Thor twisted himself around to come at Barton from behind, wrapping his mighty arm around Clint's throat. All the god had to do was twist and snap the archer's neck and they'd both be saved. Much to Clint's disappointment, Thor released his grip and pushed Barton to the side after prying the shard of glass from his bleeding hand.

Loki rolled his eyes as his favorite toy was disarmed. He wasn't surprised at his brother's lack of engagement in the fight. It mattered not, the form of Thor's comeuppance, just as long as Loki had a front row seat to witness his fall from grace. Odin had placed the thunder god on a very high pedestal that Loki was more than eager to push him off.

Not nearly done with the evening's festivities, Loki tossed Barton one of his small silver blades. Maybe Thor would be more entertaining if the archer actually had a weapon that could harm a god.

Clint caught the knife and twirled it in his hand to gain a better grip. Assessing his opponent, he assumed a crouched position. He felt a vicious smile spread across his face just before he lunged at the larger man. Thor managed to deflect most of the attack, grabbing the archer by the back of the neck and right shoulder spinning him around to slam Clint into the side of the table. It wasn't a wasted effort on Barton's part though. He had managed to slice through Thor's armour, a red line blooming on the god's stomach.

Clint looked on from the floor as his teammate pressed a hand against the wound. It wasn't fatal and, aside from being slightly painful, it was nothing more than an inconvenience. Thor lifted his hand to examine the blood, blood spilled by a friend in the name of Loki, his brother. Anger flared within at the situation Loki was creating. Thor wanted to fight back, to unleash the righteous fury brewing within, but who should suffer his wrath: the puppet or the puppet master?

Could Thor raise arms against his fellow Avenger, who was not in control of himself but certainly driven to harm the god, or seek vengeance on his brother who would undoubtedly seek recompense against the archer for Thor's actions? Either way, Barton suffered.

For a brief, beautiful moment Clint regained control of his body. It was a mere second, but long enough to twist his foot, tripping himself into Thor instead of lunging into the god. The large man easily grabbed Hawkeye and pinned him against the wall.

It was at that moment that Clint saw Thor the man and not Thor the target he was compelled to kill. "Thor?" quivered the unsure voice.

"Yes, my friend," replied the Asgardian with a warm smile. He loosened his grip but did not let go; Loki's trickery knew no bounds.

Barton swallowed and tried to quiet his pounding heart. He could feel Thor's hands on him but what was worse was the feeling of his own arm fighting to plunge the dagger into his friend. Control was slowly coming back but it wasn't fast enough. Part of Clint was frozen with indecision, another guided by Loki's will, but he had found his voice. Desperation colored his words; a primordial need to cut off his traitorous limb or try and convey something to Thor filled him.

"Thor, please."

"It is alright, Barton. Stay strong. You have it within yourself to rise up against Loki," encouraged Thor.

Clint frantically shook his head in disbelief. "Thor, you have to kill me!"

"I cannot, my friend."

"You have to," pleaded Clint. "If you don't, I will kill you."

"No!" It devastated the Asgardian to hear his fellow warrior beg.

"Please. If you can't do it to save yourself, do it to save the others."

"Enough!" shouted Loki. "Your heart's clearly not in this Barton. You're taking all the joy out of it." He snapped his fingers and Hawkeye had control of himself again.

The archer dropped the blade, twisted out of Thor's grasp and scrambled into the corner drawing his knees to his chest once more. The only sound left in the room was the rapid gasping of Clint's breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace


	11. The Scientist by Coldplay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint believes something is wrong with him. On Asgard Loki has taken ill and tells Thor that his and Barton's problems may have the same solution. With Barton's worst fear coming true, can the team trust that this isn't some ploy by Loki?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The Avengers characters are not mine, just borrowed for this story.
> 
> Warnings: language and violence.

"You shouldn't punish yourself by watching this," offered Steve.

"I can't bring myself to go down there and watch it live"

Natasha never took her eyes off the screen. Being regulated to sidelines had left her feeling helpless enough but having to hear Rogers' pity was a new low. She imagined if she cried that tears would be silently falling down her face now. Watching Loki slowly tear Barton apart was difficult. He was destroying the one person she had allowed herself to care for and she could do nothing to stop it. If Barton had to suffer because of their foolish belief that they could actually help, then she was damn well going to suffer right alongside him.

Loki would kill Clint and that, in turn, would destroy Natasha…two birds, one stone. She had brought it on herself. If she hadn't become invested in her partner, enjoyed his sarcasm, felt a little safer when he was in the room, then maybe she could have been more objective about the whole thing. Natasha couldn't deny that Hawkeye felt the same way; it wouldn't be as fun of a game for Loki if he didn't. She had allowed her feelings to cloud her judgment and from now on they would both be compromised. If, no, when they got out of this she would do them both a favor and make herself scarce. One of them had to make the decision to take responsibility or they would forever find themselves in these situations.

Rogers watched as Natasha maintained her steadfast focus on the video feed from the lab. Despite her best efforts, he had seen how tense she was when they were in medical after Barton attacked her. His team was slowly falling apart. Everything he had worked to rebuild was slipping through his fingers. "Natasha."

"Don't. I can stare death in the face, I can take on ten men at one time and not give it a second thought, but I can't... I can't go down there and watch this. I can't find the strength to give him my support while that monster takes his place."

"It's hard because you care about him."

"Obviously not enough," she confessed.

"Because you care about him so much," explained Steve.

"Is the tech team having any luck?" asked Romanoff.

Steve took the redirect for what it was. "No, they still can't figure it out. We need Stark for this. He was right when he said he could make it so no one could get out of the lab."

"Do we know what we're going to do if we can get them out?"

"Fury's order are…"

"I didn't ask what Fury's orders were, Steve. I asked what we are going to do. They get that door open, Loki's going to make a break for it and Barton may help and, if what's happening now is any indication, Loki's not going to give Thor an opportunity to help us stop him."

"We stop them," whispered Steve. The prospect was unappealing, but they had to come to terms with how this could play out.

"I want Loki." Steve looked at Natasha. "I want to be the one to end him. It has to be me because I don't think I can take out…"

Captain America placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder and silently promised he would spare her the burden of taking out her partner. "I'm going to go check in at the hospital and see if there's any news on Stark. Maybe we can pull a rabbit out of this yet."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pepper sat curled in the chair next to Tony's bed. She kept her eyes glued to him, afraid that if she looked away the doctors would tell her he didn't make it. Surgery had repaired the damage, but the doctors insisted he wasn't out of the woods yet.

Steve's soft voice filled the room. "How's he doing?

"There's no change. They don't know if he's going to pull through or, if he does, if he's going to wake up." The pause that followed was deafening and only amplified the turmoil of those holding vigil. "What am I going to do, Steve?"

Rogers moved from the door to her side as the tears started to roll down her cheeks. He pulled Pepper into a tight embrace and rubbed her back. "He'll make it, Pepper. The son of a bitch is too stubborn to concede to death on anyone else's terms. Besides, he's not going to leave you."

Potts just gripped Tony's hand tighter. "I need him. All of this, his empire, it's just not worth it if he's not here to drive me crazy and blow stuff up. I would trade it all in a second if he'd just open his eyes and make some stupid joke."

He could empathize with Pepper's position. It was hard to stand and watch someone else fight knowing there was nothing you could do but wait. It was hard to let someone go and even harder to know someone was counting on you to make it back. He never thought about what Tony could lose every time he suited up alongside them before, about the person he would leave behind to save the world.

"Fury said Clint and Thor were trapped in the lab with Loki. Did you get them out? Are they ok?" asked Pepper.

"We're working on it. They're safe though, Loki isn't going to try anything." The lie was easier to tell than he thought. "We could sure use Tony though."

Alarms started room was immediately swamped with doctors and nurses. Panicked chatter filled the room and Pepper and Rogers were forced out of the way. Pepper wasn't sure when it happened, but at some point Captain America must have pulled her out of the room. She stood, numb, as the medical team began wheeling Stark out of the room and down the hall.

"What's happening?" cried Pepper.

One of the nurses took pity on the broken pair standing in the hall like lost lambs and hung back for a moment. "There's a complication and we need to get him back into surgery right away. Someone will come out and speak to you as soon as possible. I'm sorry but I have to get back to the patient."

The pair watched as the nurse disappeared down the hall towards the operating room. Once she was out of sight, Pepper ran into the bathroom and promptly threw up. After a few moments, Steve gently knocked on the door before entering.

"Are you alright, Pepper?"

She splashed water on her face and looked in the mirror. "I'm not alright; nothing about this is alright." Pepper held on to Steve for all she was worth. Tony was back in surgery and Thor and Clint were locked in a cage with a mad man. There was no way she could handle losing so many of the people she had come to care about. The first step she had to take was to get some kind of hold over her emotions. As much as she wanted Steve there to comfort her, she knew that he was needed elsewhere.

"You should get back to the others. You have to save them, Steve. I can't – we can't lose everyone."

"Are you sure you're going to be alright here by yourself?" Pepper nodded. "I'll keep them safe, I promise," assured Steve as he headed back to the Tower and the disaster of a situation that was occupying two of his teammates with no clue on how to keep his word.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bruce let out another sigh as he turned the page on yet another report. The help Fury had sent had since left the room Banner was occupying to continue somewhere a little less close to a potential threat. He wasn't going to kid himself. He knew that the steadily growing pile of snapped pencils aided their decision to give him personal space. If there wasn't so much at stake, Bruce might want to take his growing anger a little more seriously, but any time spent giving into it was time taken away from finding a solution.

To say that questionable things were done in the shadows didn't do this lab justice. Never mind the human rights violations that had occurred; how anyone with a conscience could enter the facility was what puzzled Bruce. Because if anything says research for the betterment of mankind, it's continuing the research started by an evil organization like Hydra; they were just full of good ideas. Then there was the fact that the researchers still hadn't achieved the results they were looking for so there was no need to set about finding a cure, which meant that that task was going to largely rest upon Bruce. Tony's help would come in handy, but the one time Banner needed his attention the billionaire wasn't answering his phone.

The only bright side Bruce could find was they hadn't been able to reengineer Keres to re-infect Clint. A small mercy at this point, but he would take what he could get. He opened the next file and gave the first page a cursory glance. But wait…his hands began to shake as he rapidly flipped through the rest of the file. Moments later, the doctor burst through the lab and ran down the corridor to where the research team was holed up. "We need to get on that jet and back to New York right away!"

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am putting together the outline for my 12th story in this series and had a few endings in mind. If you would like to have input on how that story shapes up, please go to my profile page and cast your vote.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Scientist by Coldplay


	12. Four Rusted Horses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint believes something is wrong with him. On Asgard Loki has taken ill and tells Thor that his and Barton's problems may have the same solution. With Barton's worst fear coming true, can the team trust that this isn't some ploy by Loki?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The Avengers characters are not mine, just borrowed for this story.
> 
> Warnings: language and violence.

Thor had taken to pacing in front of the glass. He couldn't stand sitting there watching one of his friends be subjugated, to listen to the litany that poured out of his brother's mouth aimed to hurt Thor as much as it was Barton. He needed a way to release the energy that was building within him and wearing a path in the floor seemed the only available option. It also took his mind off the impending decision looming over him; just what was he prepared to do in regards to Loki? He couldn't be allowed to leave the lab.

The god of thunder had tried reasoning with his brother; he had tried fists and still they were back where they started. He had tried to convince Loki that they were still family, that they didn't need to fight one another, but the trickster was steadfast in his resolve. Thor had tried to forgive his past transgressions; Thor had truly tried. He racked his brain for the moment that Loki's devotion to him turned to hate.

If anyone was going to get to him, there was no one better than Loki. His brother knew everything about him, his hopes and dreams and, though Loki couldn't have known when he first took control Barton, the trickster had no better piece of leverage to use against the Avengers.

Loki looked up at the camera in the corner of the lab and smiled. He knew who would be watching. Romanoff would be glued to the screen scrutinizing his every move, fueling her hatred of him and he was absolutely going to live up to the title of monster. Clint was kneeling before Loki, head bowed down. The Asgardian placed a long finger under his chin and slowly raised his head. Hatred flowed off of his subject but Hawkeye lacked the will to act upon it.

"You're undeniably human, Barton, more so than anyone else on your precious team. You're the one that suffers, that bleeds for them, and in the end they get all the glory and spoils. But I can help you, all you have to do is give in and I'll make all the pain go away. You will know peace," promised Loki.

He may have been forced to kneel on the floor and beg like a dog, but Clint wasn't going to humor Loki as long as he still had the ability. "Go to hell."

"Why should I when you occupy it so nicely?" whispered the god. He cocked his head to the side as if considering his next words. "We're not so different, you and I."

Clint swallowed. He felt like he was being pulled apart; the more he struggled against Loki's pull the more painful it was. Barton had survived torture many times before. He had been on the receiving end of some of the most horrible techniques imaginable and still he had held out. It scared him how much he wanted to give in and put an end to all the pain and uncertainty. He was tired. Even more tired of having to try to resist. But, no matter what happened to him, he had to hold out, to protect those that would become his future victims, for as long as possible.

"We...are nothing... alike." His words were getting harder to spit out; they didn't flow as easily as the ones Loki wanted to hear.

Loki's voice dripped with delight. "Oh, I think we are. We are both being used by our surrogate fathers. We are but a means to their ends; our desires matter not, only that their reigns remain undisputed. You think Fury has any concern for you beyond whether you hit the target? You give SHIELD everything and this is how they repay you, by subjecting you to this. They know how it pained you last time and still did not hesitate to inflict it upon you again. And when it blows up in their faces, they will not falter in ending you. They will betray you just as your brother did."

Clint closed his eyes to try and gather the strength to withstand Loki's ramblings. His brother's betrayal wasn't something he wanted to think about much less relive with Loki forcing the issue. He bit his lip to stop the whimper as memories surged through him, adding to the pain of the situation at present. Thor growled and sped up his pacing.

Loki continued, hiding the smile at Thor's reaction. "I know the sting of brotherly betrayal all too well. But I can be a lenient master; I'll take it all away, Barton. I know how you suffer this time; those pathetic mortals could not hold you in their grasp properly and now it's tearing you apart. Get me the Tesseract and I will take the pain away. I will reapply the spell the way it was intended and you will feel nothing but bliss."

Clint could feel Thor's eyes burning a hole in his head awaiting his answer. Somewhere, the team would be listening with bated breath for the same thing. It should have been reassuring that they cared but it just added pressure. They all wanted, needed him to say no, but he feared his resolve was slipping. If Loki was going to win in the end, why was he prolonging his torment? Thor had made it clear that he was not going to be merciful and end his suffering quickly and the silent support from his team just didn't seem enough this time.

Barton clenched his fist and dug his nails into his palm. The line between what he wanted and what Loki demanded was blurring. Fighting against it for so long was wearing him out. If Loki didn't have control of his body at that moment, the archer was quite convinced that he would be shaking from the pain and fatigue.

Loki stared down at him waiting for acceptance of his deal. Clint remained silent, unsure what answer might escape his lips.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Natasha crumpled the paper cup mindless of the hot liquid that flowed like lava down her hand as she watched Clint go to Loki from his corner at the god's beckoning. She almost broke the screen as she watched the trickster force her partner to kneel before him. Loki's smile at the camera only made matters worse. Had Steve not returned from his check-in with the tech teams when he had, she would have marched down there and emptied a full clip into the glass even knowing full well it wouldn't break.

"You can't let him get to you," said Steve as he put a supportive hand on her shoulder. She fought the urge to shrug it off. She didn't deserve such kindness while a crazy god was degrading Clint to cause her pain.

"He's not getting to me. But when we get a shot, I'm definitely going to take it. Are we making any progress?"

"The tech team thought they gained some ground but then JARVIS implemented another program convinced it was Loki try to hack him and now they're back to square one. We really need Tony."

"And what are the odds of that happening?"

Rogers shook his head. "He made it through surgery but there was a complication. The doctors are being really cryptic. They had to operate again but no one's really providing any information. Pepper's barely holding it together."

Silence reigned as Natasha continued to watch the surveillance feed. She empathized with Thor being stuck there helpless; they also shared the burden of guilt for creating this situation. They all knew better than to trust Loki. She could understand Thor's position in all of this. They were still family and that meant a certain amount of loyalty, not that Romanoff expected Loki to return it nor did she think Thor believed he would either. She could also understand Stark's need to believe in this plan, to take the risk. The billionaire didn't have a lot of trustworthy people in his life. Over the last year, she noticed he had developed an odd respect for Barton; it made sense that he would do something foolhardy. Steve was still torn between trying to protect the few friends he had managed to gain in this era and balancing it with his military training. Bruce was on the other side of the world and bore no fault, but why had she gone alone with it?

Romanoff listened intently for Clint to accept or reject Loki's offer. She could see that he was ready to drop, that the only thing keeping him on his feet was the sheer will of the Tesseract. She couldn't fault him for considering giving up, to make the pain go away. Selfishly, she found herself almost hoping he would accept; it would be easier on both of them. He would no longer suffer and she could grieve for his demise even if it was only mental and not yet physical. If he accepted, it would be easier on her to take him out in the end, knowing that on some level he had accepted that would be the way it played out. Unfortunately, she knew him too well. They had been through too much. He would fight, providing her with false hope and continuing his agony, right up until the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Four Rusted Horses by Marilyn Manson


	13. Little Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint believes something is wrong with him. On Asgard Loki has taken ill and tells Thor that his and Barton's problems may have the same solution. With Barton's worst fear coming true, can the team trust that this isn't some ploy by Loki?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The Avengers characters are not mine, just borrowed for this story.
> 
> Warnings: language and violence.

Pepper fidgeted again and placed her empty coffee cup amongst the growing stack on the end table. The nurses were being very kind, offering reassuring smiles every time they came in to check on Tony and bringing her coffee so she wouldn't have to leave his side. One had even brought her a sandwich, but Potts didn't think she had enough energy to force herself to eat it let alone keep it down.

She had thought it might be easier to go through this; after all, it wasn't the first time. She struggled with the possibility that this would happen every time Tony went out to fight, but all those nights still hadn't prepared her for losing him again. Her world had stopped turning when she was told his convoy was attacked in Afghanistan and the army couldn't find any survivors. She didn't know how she would survive losing him this time.

Rogers came in with a tray of donuts and a coffee. "I thought you might be hungry, didn't figure you would have taken time away to get anything yourself. Looks like you have the coffee situation under control," he said, spotting the rather impressive stack of empty cups on the table. He offered her a small smile he hoped translated to reassurance but feared it came off as pity.

She nodded and graciously accepted the coffee and a donut to forestall the argument about taking care of herself. "The nurses have been very considerate, but it never hurts to have extra coffee. Thank you, Steve."

There was an awkward pause as he tried to get a read on the situation. The most he could ascertain was that Stark had made it through surgery again. "How's he doing?"

"They said he's stabilized and seems to be holding his own. They are cautiously optimistic."

"Then things are moving in the right direction. You'll be yelling at him to get back in bed and follow doctor's orders in no time."

"I want nothing more than that, Steve. How's the situation at the tower?"

"Things seem stable; we're cautiously optimistic."

His attempt at humor brought a small smile to her face. "That well, huh?"

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The blurry shapes slowly took focus as Tony blinked. He knew he recognized the blue and red person standing before him, but his fuzzy brain couldn't supply a name or a context for the man.

"Tony?" came Pepper's soft voice. Relief washed through her; she knew Stark was a determined individual but waking up so soon had even surprised her.

Stark knew the sound was in reference to him, but his ability to focus was clouded. He felt a soft pressure on his hand and turned his head to find the cause. The hand was small and dainty and so not his own. Suddenly, it lifted up and he realized his was underneath the smaller one. Pepper placed a kiss on his wrist and ran her fingers through his hair. At some point, the blue person moved to the other side of his bed because his name was being called from a different direction.

"Tony, can you hear us? Do you know where you are?" asked Steve trying to maintain a level of professionalism his relief made difficult.

It finally clicked. That was Steve standing next to him and Pepper was there and his whole body ached. He tried to mumble Pepper's name but something was covering his mouth. He slowly reached up to remove whatever it was.

"Leave that on," chastised Pepper as she gently swatted his hand away from the oxygen mask. "Here, try this," she offered, holding up her Starkpad for him to type out a message.

Tony batted at it like a weak kitten. It took a moment for him to get his fingers to follow his commands, but eventually he got what he wanted to across. He wouldn't be getting any points for spelling and grammar though.

Pepper frowned as she tried to decipher the message. She showed the pad to Steve in hopes he would be able to answer the question better.

"Loki escaped his restraints. You were stabbed, but your security protocols kicked in and sealed him in the lab." Tony gave a satisfied smirk. "The bad news is now we can't open it because JARVIS is still malfunctioning and Thor and Barton are trapped in there with him."

A pained look spread across Stark's face. He was still fuzzy on everything, but the knot in the pit of his stomach told him the situation was far more horrible than he could fathom at the moment.

Steve locked eyes with him and in his serious command tone asked, "Tony we need the override codes so we can get them out of the lab and get Barton away from Loki. Do you remember the codes?"

Tony opened his eyes wide in a bid stay awake. The pull of drug-induced rest was getting stronger and the rolling of the room wasn't helping. He dutifully typed on the pad before him and watched as Steve read it out loud.

"Captain America is an ass." Rogers looked at Pepper and rolled his eyes. "Tony, this is important we need that override code."

Stark pulled off the oxygen mask with the hand that Pepper wasn't grasping like a lifeline. "That is the override... you ass." Tony paused for a coughing fit. When it subsided, he continued, "It corresponds with the numbers on your phone. 2278246-2637422, second line 47-26-277 is the override code."

Steve leveled Tony with an unamused look, which Tony returned.

"You had it coming, Steve. You irritate me. And you're an ass." Tony pulled the mask back up and took a deep breath.

Rogers looked at Pepper, his eyes begging to be excused so he could try and save the rest of the team. "Go, Steve, we'll be fine here," Pepper reassured.

Steve nodded then squeezed Tony's shoulder in support. He was out the door and heading to the parking lot when he contacted Romanoff over the radio.

"Natasha, I got the override codes from Tony."

"That's great Steve but..."

"The first one is 2278246-2637422."

"Rogers, stop..."

"The second is..."

"Steve!"

"47-26-277."

"You're on the open Avengers comm. frequency, Rogers, and Barton has his radio on him," said Romanoff.

The Captain paused then put his fist through a nearby wall. Modern technology always made things so complicated. Stark had explained numerous times how to change frequencies from the open group line to individual and now his lack of understanding had just given the enemy the advantage.

Steve started running towards his bike. "Listen to me, Romanoff, do not engage them. Wait for me to return, you're in no condition to take them on alone!"

Silence was the only response he received.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clint tilted his head listening to the secret to their escape over the radio. A shared glance between him and Loki began their escape. He walked over to the control panel and opened the casing. Every part of him screamed to stop, but he was nothing more than a helpless passenger in his own body. He fought for just a moment of control; a second would be all it took to damage the circuits and tip JARVIS off to unwanted tampering, but his fingers dutifully started punching in the override code.

Thor planted his hand on Barton's shoulder and turned the smaller man away from the panel. "I cannot let you do this, archer." His tone had an apologetic flare, but Clint knew Thor would not fulfill his earlier request.

If there was one thing Loki was good for, it was distractions. He launched several of his silver blades at Thor forcing his brother to release Barton and turn to face him. The knives were deflected to various points in the room with little effort on Thor's part. He moved forward to confront Loki but stopped as the trickster waved his finger and clicked his tongue.

"You're not going to lay a finger on me this time, Thor."

"I will not suffer you upon the world, Loki. This madness will come to an end and I am at a loss on how to do it without your bloodshed."

"If you move against me, I'll have Barton slit his throat," Loki hissed.

Thor turned to face Clint. With a steady hand, the archer had a piece of the broken beaker pressed tight against his neck. A small ribbon of red trailed down from the pressure point of the glass. Barton was indifferent to his action. Thor had no doubt that Loki had the control to force the man's hand to drag the jagged shard across his throat and let forth a river of blood.

With Thor's attention on Barton, Loki raised his scepter and swung. It collided with Thor's skull with a satisfying thunk and the brute crumpled to the ground like a house of cards. As much as he wanted to finish the job and end his brother, Loki would not deny himself the pleasure of watching Thor's continued suffering as Barton took care of every precious Misgardian that held a place in Thor's heart. He would teach the thunder god not to replace him with mere mortals.

"Let's go," commanded Loki. Clint dropped the piece of glass and finished punching in the override code.

An alarm sounded but the door opened. Immediately, a contingent of SHIELD agents flooded the lab. A wall of bullets moved towards the pair, but the god deflected them with his magic turning them back upon the agents. The room became deathly silent; no one was left to offer challenge.

Loki turned to Barton waiting for him to take the lead. "They left the Tesseract in Stark's safe in the penthouse," informed Clint. Loki gestured for his subject to take the lead. He could feel Hawkeye's resistance boiling beneath the surface. He was certain that he could maintain control long enough to get back the Tesseract and reclaim Barton properly. Then his plans could start.

Clint bent over one of the fallen agents, grabbed his guns and a set of handcuffs, and tucked them into his uniform. Without his bow, he needed a weapon and, though he didn't favor guns, it was the best the situation could provide.

They burst through the fire door to the stairwell and began their ascent. The ping of bullets ricocheting off of the railing marked their progress as newly arrived agents attempted to stop them. Loki passed Clint on the stairs as Barton crouched down and took aim at the agents below. Four precise and rapid shots and they were alone to continue on their quest.

Clint paused as they reached the final flight of stairs before the penthouse. He could feel that she was near, lurking in the shadows, a flight or so behind. Loki turned to see why Barton had stopped.

"She's here," the archer stated robotically. Inside, he was dying to keep that information to himself.

"You know what to do," instructed Loki as he continued up that stairs towards his goal.

Clint nodded and waited until his god was out of sight. "I know you're there."

Natasha shuddered as the hollow voice echoed off the cold concrete walls. Her hand rested on her gun for a moment as she considered her options. He had a clear advantage over her; a broken arm wasn't conducive to hand-to-hand combat.

"Come on, Nat, let's get on with it," he called.

"You don't get to call me that," she answered. From her position, she could see the sickening smile that warped his face.

"You're going to be like that? After all we've been through? I'm hurt, Natasha. I thought you said if anyone was going to get to kick my ass it was going to be you?"

"I meant that." It was difficult to maneuver with a cast and Romanoff quickly pulled her knife and cut away the part of the plaster that was covering her hand. Stepping up on the railing, she leapt up and grabbed a hold of the ledge of the landing Barton was standing on.

Barton cackled, "well, here's your chance. I'm right here."

Natasha pulled herself up and flipped over the railing, knocking Clint into the wall. The blow stunned him momentarily, but he quickly responded with a move of his own. They traded blows back and forth like a dance, neither one coming out on top. Every well-calculated move was blocked and returned with one of equal ferocity. Barton moved to pull his gun and Natasha pinned him against the wall. They struggled back and forth for control of the weapon, fingers fighting for dominance over the trigger.

"He's not here, you know. Whatever you were hoping for, it's not going to happen," snapped Clint.

She looked into his blue eyes searching for something to reaffirm that her partner was still there, trapped in the swirl of Loki's will. "I'm right here, Clint."

Barton leaned in close and dragged his tongue up her cheek stopping by her ear he whispered, "I can make this easy on you. I know you want it."

Romanoff threw her elbow into the side of his head causing him to release his grip on the gun. It clanged off of the railings as it plummeted down the stairwell and out of reach. He countered with a back hand of his own that snapped Natasha's head to the side. She licked her lip and tasted blood.

"I'm all for dragging this out if you are," offered Hawkeye.

They engaged in another round of futile blows, neither one gaining a dominant position. Loki's words from last time ran through her head and filled her with dread every time she caught the determined blue glare that was hardening Clint's features. It was the click that grabbed her full attention. She felt the pull on her wrist and glanced down to catch a gleam of silver encircling it. She pulled with all her might but it was too late he had already secured the other handcuff to the railing. She could pick it; her tools were in her boot, but not with him standing there.

Barton stood before her and took in his work. He reached over and gently brushed a stand of hair away from her face. The fake concern was harder to take than the fists earlier, especially knowing that when she looked at him there would be nothing left of the man she knew.

His hand hesitated at her neck and he let out a sigh. "My master is in need of my skills, but I promise I will be back to finish what we've started." Clint leaned in. Natasha turned her head to the side, but being chained to the railing prevented her from moving far enough away to escape him. He placed a chaste kiss on her lips. It was brief and gentle and nothing like she was expecting from the monster before her. It was the kind of kiss that said 'I'm sorry', 'forgive all of my wrongs' and 'goodbye'. She looked up at Clint. Instead of blue hatred, there was desperate grey. It was enough to wrench a sob from her throat.

Barton reached down and pulled the lock picks out of Natasha's boot then stood without hesitation and made his way up the remaining stairs.

"Clint!" The desperation shone through her voice. The restraints clanged against the railing as she pulled against them but they refused to release her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men


	14. Open Your Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint believes something is wrong with him. On Asgard Loki has taken ill and tells Thor that his and Barton's problems may have the same solution. With Barton's worst fear coming true, can the team trust that this isn't some ploy by Loki?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The Avengers characters are not mine, just borrowed for this story.
> 
> Warnings: language and violence.

Clint burst through the door to the penthouse floor just as Loki cracked the safe. The god pulled the cube out with a joyous giggle, gently cradling it in his arms before moving towards the balcony door, all the while mindful that his subject was following. He waved his hand in the direction the archer had come. "Lock the door. I do not wish to be disturbed."

Barton did as the trickster demanded. "I'm afraid that won't hold them for very long, sir. It's only a matter of time before the Avengers pull it together and make their way here to stop you."

"Let them come. They cannot stop me now."

"Sir, we should make a plan for how to escape. If they are given time to regroup the full force of SHIELD will be upon us," cautioned Barton.

Loki smiled. Misgardians had such narrow minds. "We won't be here by the time they regroup." Loki set the Tesseract down in the middle of the balcony and took several steps back. The cube began to throw flashes of blue matched by the crystal within the scepter.

Clint knew this was bad. He felt a slight twitch in his hand; it started in his ring finger and spread to his index finger. He kept his focus on Loki, whose attention was fixated on the cube. Ever so slowly, he brought his hand to the second gun he had taken from the downed agent earlier. He could feel the coldness of the weapon as his finger began to curl around it. It felt oddly heavy as it slid out of the holster bringing its full weight to bear in his hand.

The god of mischief's over-confidence was beginning to show. The tension that had settled in his shoulders during their captivity had melted away and his hold over Barton relaxed fractionally to accommodate the focus and energy needed to control the Tesseract.

"I'll open the portal again with the scepter and we will be on our way. But first, my faithful servant, I feel I must reward your work." Loki turned so he could once again bring Clint under his complete and undisputed control only to find himself staring down the barrel of the archer's gun.

Loki noticed the slight tremble of the weapon. "And just what do you think you're going to do with that, Agent Barton?"

Clint had no idea what he was going to do with it. It was a battle just to point the thing at Loki. He couldn't even comprehend what it would take to pull the trigger, for all the good it would do to shoot a god. He just knew he couldn't allow Loki to leave the Tower, couldn't let Loki touch him with that scepter and make his control complete.

Their eyes locked and the rest of the world melted away; only that moment existed. A wave of relief spread through Clint as his finger curled around the trigger and a satisfying bang sounded. The bullet found its mark right between the god's eyes. It slid through the skin, right through his head and continued on towards the next building. The allusion flickered and disappeared and Barton would have cried at missing his chance to take out the real Loki if not for the god's hand that clamped firmly around his throat and slammed him into the wall.

Rage flashed through Loki's eyes at the slave that dared to take action against him. He recoiled his arm and slammed Barton against the wall for a second time. Placing the sharp point of his scepter under Barton's chin, he leaned in and hissed, "you think you can defy me? I am a god, I am your god. I will show you your place, Barton, after I have you kill everyone of your friends, slowly, painfully and I will pull back my control just enough that you think you have a choice, that you think you can protect them."

Clint leaned forward to add further defiance to his glare, mindless of the thin streak of red that was forming where the sharp tip of the scepter sliced. His hand clamped around the staff as he spat, "Your biggest mistake is thinking I can't protect them from you!"

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thor slowly blinked his eyes open. The lab was silent and dark except for the steady flash of the amber alert lights. He clambered to his feet, mindful of the painful throb in his head and the stream of blood that ran over his eye. Thor surveyed his surroundings; it wasn't hard to pick up Loki's trail. Following the path of death, Thor entered the stairwell and began to climb to the penthouse level.

He heard Natasha cry out for Clint and doubled his efforts. Taking the remaining stairs four at a time, he closed in on the clanging sound. He rounded the landing to find Romanoff pulling against the railing, her uncasted arm was handcuffed to.

Natasha's head snapped up as she heard someone move up the stairs. "Get this off of me now!"

Thor moved towards her and with little effort snapped the chain connecting the cuffs. Without a word, she started up the remaining flight of stairs with Thor hot on her heels. The Black Widow threw her shoulder into the door but it didn't budge. It took one glare from her for Thor to step up and push the door open in a way that only Thor could. The door clattered to the ground and the pair sprinted through the penthouse and out to the balcony.

They just reached the threshold when they saw Barton slam his head into Loki's nose followed by and elbow to the side of the head and a kick that had the god stumbling to the side away from Clint. Hawkeye towered over Loki with the scepter clenched in his hand. "You need this to control people? To control that portal? You don't get to control anything anymore!"

Clint grabbed the scepter with both hands and swung it against the wall. The crystal shattered as it made contact with the wall, releasing a shock wave of energy that flooded the roof. As the energy rolled past Clint, his body went limp and folded to the ground. Thor shielded Natasha from the bright light that emanated from the scepter. When they turned back, Barton was still on the ground and Loki was slinking towards the cube.

Thor called forth Mjolnir from bar counter where it had laid since Thor brought Loki back to earth. With five great strides, he was on Loki, grabbing him by the back of his neck. Loki fought like a man with nothing to lose. Every hit Thor landed knocked the trickster a little closer to the cube that by now had begun to throw off massive amounts of energy.

Loki knew he was no match for Thor's strength, but if he could get to the cube when the portal opened he could get away. Without the scepter, there was no way to control where the portal would open, to which other cube in the universe it would connect, but anywhere was better than Earth. It was a risk; there were many unknowns out there and Loki had managed to make many enemies, but still he had to try.

The shimmering blue caught Thor's eye and, with a mighty swing, he sent the cube tumbling towards the edge of the balcony. It paused on the edge then tipped over as the portal began to open. Loki pushed against Thor and ran towards the edge. The portal would stay open until the cube slammed into the ground. With limited time left, Loki coiled himself to jump.

Thor lunged towards his brother and managed to snag his leg before he leapt from the balcony. There was a loud crack as the portal closed, the energy dissipated into the atmosphere and the cube came to rest on the street below. Loki looked at Thor, seething with betrayal. For a moment, Thor felt for his brother. Punishment had been hard on Loki the first time, but having to face Odin's wrath for his recent indiscretion was going to be much worse. There would be no absolution for this betrayal. Part of Thor was truly sorry he couldn't let his brother flee to places unknown. As Loki opened his mouth to start his rant, Thor leveled a solid blow to his head and Loki knew only darkness.

Natasha had scrambled to Clint's side. All she could hear was the pounding of her own heart. He was still and deathly pale. His eyes were open but they were icy blue; there was no recognition or response in them as Natasha called out his name. "Clint! Talk to me, Clint."

She tapped his face, lightly at first and then harder until she was slapping him. Nothing, not even a muscle twitch. "You did it; you stopped Loki. You can't let him beat you now. Blink, do something! Do anything!"

She shook his shoulders and squeezed his hands. Still nothing. "Please, please, please let me know you're still in there somewhere."

Her litany of, "Clint," grew louder every time she brought her fists down on his chest. She was crying now, "Clint, god damn it, say something, anything!"

Thor grabbed a hold of her fists and pulled her against his chest. Her whole body shook and she buried her head in Thor's shoulder. They had stopped Loki, but at what cost? Barton was unresponsive and under the influence of a device they knew nothing about and had no way of reversing.

Thor glanced over at the door as Steve and Bruce ran onto the balcony. They their gazes surveyed the area and came to rest on the too still form of Barton lying on the ground next to a crying Natasha.

"Oh no," gasped Steve, who knew what he might be walking into, but was still unprepared for it.

Unaware of the events taking place at the Tower since their last video chat after Clint's attack on Romanoff, all Bruce could do was stand with his jaw hanging open. "What the hell happened?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Open Your Eyes by Snow Patrol


	15. One Woman Army

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint believes something is wrong with him. On Asgard Loki has taken ill and tells Thor that his and Barton's problems may have the same solution. With Barton's worst fear coming true, can the team trust that this isn't some ploy by Loki?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The Avengers characters are not mine, just borrowed for this story.
> 
> Warnings: language and violence.

"Well this is discouragingly familiar," commented Bruce as he and Steve waited for Thor to take Loki back to Asgard. It was just the two of them on the roof. Natasha had refused to leave Clint's side, Tony was still in the hospital on heavy pain meds, and Thor had asked for a moment alone with his brother. The cold roof served as a reminder of everyone that was missing from their team.

Thor approached the heavily guarded cell and nodded to the agents to leave the room for a moment. He paused, wondering if it was even worth it to place the shackles on Loki again. Odin had sent a potion at Thor's request to temporarily suppress Loki's magical abilities until they returned to Asgard He needed to shackle Loki as much for the reassurance to the others as for his own mind set. He had to put the past out of his mind and accept that Loki might not ever be the brother he remembered. He also had to let Loki know that he wasn't going to be lenient anymore.

Loki sat and eyed Thor skeptically. There was no monologue about brotherly love, about reconsidering, no pleading to give up his wicked ways. Thor knelt and locked the first shackle around the trickster's ankle.

"Do you know what you've done?" asked Loki. Thor said nothing but continued his work.

"So, this is what it comes to? You pick those pathetic humans over your own brother. You lend them your support, do everything they bid of you, when they aren't even worthy of the dung on the floors of Asgard's stables.

"I owe you an apology, brother," stated Thor. "Somewhere along the way, I have failed you; I didn't notice the path you were taking and it has led you here. I have tried to right my wrongs but I fear it is too late. You must pay for your mistakes. I will not speak on your behalf or ask for leniency. When we return home, we are finished. We have not been brothers in a very long time. I am not sure when it happened, but I cannot continue this way. We all have made mistakes and now we must endure the consequences."

Thor snapped the last restraint in place then hauled Loki to his feet and marched him up to the roof of Stark Tower. It felt like he was preparing for a funeral. He was, in a way, but there would be time to grieve failed familial relationships later. The pressing issue was returning the trickster to Asgard and starting the search for a way to help his fallen Avenger. With the scepter broken, Loki lacked the means to undo what the Councilman had started and he had exacerbated.

"I will return soon, hopefully bearing good news," assured Thor as he bid farewell to Rogers and Banner.

"We'll keep searching here." Banner had found mention of an artifact recovered by Hydra that absorbed Tesseract energy. Based on the research, it was hypothesized that it could be used to reverse the effects of the experimentation Hydra had been doing with the energy and human test subjects. Bruce was hopeful. He still had a plethora of files to search through to learn more about it and a whole world to search to find where Hydra had carted it off to. It was better than nothing, but they were still hoping Thor would be able to find someone or something to help.

Steve and Bruce stepped back and Thor and Loki disappeared on their journey back home. The pair silently left the roof. Bruce had a meeting with medical. They had run a test on Barton and he needed to see if it would be any help in determining exactly what they were dealing with.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bruce joined Steve, who was standing outside of Barton's room watching through the observation window. Natasha had been there since they brought Clint into medical and neither man wanted to intrude.

"Well?" asked Rogers.

"SHIELD has some very high tech medical equipment. According to the test they ran, it's not that Clint is unresponsive, it's he can't respond."

Steve quirked an eyebrow. " What does that mean?"

"His brain is processing everything that's going on around him. He just can't react to any of it."

"He's stuck in his own head?"

"It gets worse."

"How can it get any worse than being trapped in your own head without any way to communicate with anyone around you?"

"He can feel pain. He's in pain. They've been monitoring the part of the brain that reacts to pain and, in plain English terms, he's in a lot of pain. There's nothing they can do to stop it; they've tried, but we just don't know enough about this." The apologetic tone in Bruce's voice didn't make Rogers feel any better.

"We can't tell Natasha. Tell her he can probably hear her, but don't mention the suffering part. She doesn't need that on top of everything." If there was any way left to protect his team, no matter how small, Roger was going to take it.

"How's Stark doing?" Steve tried to steer the conversation to one marginally less depressing. They had to maintain hope if they were going to fix this and hearing how worse off Barton was than they originally thought wasn't helping.

"He's out of it most of the time. It's probably for the best; at least his pain is something we can deal with. I sent him some stuff to work onto help us track down artifact R-394. He started a search algorithm, but a quarter of the way through the calculations it turned into dirty limericks."

When Tony was lucid enough to be reminded of the situation he wanted to help, but the pain medication and being less than fifty percent healed left him pretty useless, which only added to the inventor's frustration.

SHIELD had a list of suspected Hydra bases put together, but Fury refused to let the remaining Avengers infiltrate any of them without proof the artifact was there and a solid plan on how to get it. Fury had gone so far as to tell them they weren't allowed to take a leak without clearing it with someone. Rogers couldn't blame him; they weren't exactly batting a thousand when it came to being left to their own devices.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bruce came running down the hall towards Barton's room. Panting, he put his hand on Roger's shoulder. His face went from uplifted to concern as he spotted Natasha in the same spot she had been five days ago. "How long has she been there?" he asked pointing to the observation window.

"She's never left," Steve said grimly. Romanoff had been holding vigil, eating and sleeping in the chair next to Clint and never leaving for more than a minute on a bathroom break. He had tried to get her to go and take care of herself, at least for a few hours, but was met with a silent glare. Steve had relented, deciding that fighting probably wasn't doing Barton any good. Knowing what Clint was going through, he probably needed the lifeline Natasha was offering by being there.

"She needs to leave now. I found it." Bruce handed over a file that had the location of the Hydra base that had the artifact along with a detailed mission plan signed off on by Fury.

Rogers read it over. The Black Widow was going in alone to retrieve the artifact with a ten person strike team of SHIELD agents as back up. Her flight was scheduled to leave in two hours. He wasn't thrilled that he and Bruce were being left out of the equation, but the plan seemed well thought out and completely within her skill set. All concerns aside, a smile crept across his face; they finally had something solid to chase. A shot at fixing this was in their grasp.

Steve walked into the room and paused at Natasha's side. Barton looked horrible. His eyes were completely blue, amplifying the horrific paleness of his skin. Not wanting to take any risks, security had demanded that Clint be restrained. His hands and feet were bound to the bed except for the hand that Romanoff had been clutching for the last week.

Without looking at Steve, Natasha stated, "I already told you I'm not leaving."

"I think you might change your mind when you read this," replied Rogers as he handed her the mission brief.

She turned to look at Steve; her gaze came to settle on the manila folder in his outstretched hand. She took the report and flipped through it one-handed refusing to lose the tenuous grip she had on Barton.

"Someone needs to be here with him," said Romanoff. "If what Bruce said is true, then we can't leave him here to suffer in silence alone."

"How do you…?"

"I'm a spy. And you and Banner are not the quietest people."

"I'll stay with him." Steve straightened his shoulders and tried not to flinch under her stern glare. The threat was silent but nonetheless there. Rogers would learn why everyone feared the Black Widow if Clint got so much as a hangnail under his watch.

Natasha stood and stretched out the kinks in her back. She leaned closer to Barton and whispered in his ear while Steve tried to look like he wasn't eavesdropping. "I need you to hold on just a little longer Clint. When I get back, we're going to fix this." She kissed the back of his hand then placed it gently at his side. Rogers took her seat as she strode out of the room.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Natasha didn't move a muscle the entire flight. She was a coiled spring waiting for the opportunity to release. She silently counted down the minutes until their ETA and ran through the building schematics in her head. There could be no room for error on such an important mission. She was going in with a handler she had never worked with and a team she knew nothing about. There was no way to guarantee that they would perform, but she would make sure she succeeded.

Agent Durmont sat down next to Romanoff. "I need to make sure your head is in the game." Natasha quirked her eyebrow and sized up the man beside her. She didn't hide the fact that she was offended by the idea. "Fury expressed some concerns," continued the lead agent.

"The Director doesn't believe I can do this?" asked Romanoff.

"No, he was just concerned." She had to give him credit; he was braver than most people who had been assigned to work with her.

"The only people who should be concerned are the ones between me and my objective."

Durmont simply nodded and insisted that the team run through the mission again before they landed. Things moved pretty quick once they hit the ground. The strike team was divided into two groups. The first was tasked with taking out the lookout towers and the gate. The second served as a distraction, attacking the warehouse at the back of the complex. Hydra fell for it, thinking the team was there to steal recently developed weapons and moving all available men to defend the warehouse.

Natasha slipped through the chaos. The compound was lit up with explosions and the sound of gunfire. People were running around trying to launch a defense against the might of SHIELD. She paused and slid into a corner to let a small group of soldiers running to join the fight slip past. Continuing on uncontested, she made it to the door to the building on the west side.

The sound of pounding footsteps got closer. When one of the scientists came through the door, Black Widow delivered a right hook, knocking the man unconscious. She retrieved his access card and swiped it through the access panel. The door clicked open and Natasha made her way to the storage lockers. Nothing was going to stop her as she silently darted down the corridors avoiding confrontation at every available turn. Having to personally dispatch the enemy, while highly satisfying, would only slow her down.

Upon entering the room, she made her way to the computer, inserted one of Stark's decryption devices, and waited. The computer beeped and Natasha began her search of the online catalogue. Scouring the lines of type on the screen, she found the locker she wanted. After memorizing its location, she deleted the contents of the computer; if SHIELD didn't level the place, she'd at least make sure they didn't have anything useable to build upon. Four thousand lockers would take a long time to re-catalogue.

The metal stairs moaned and creaked as Romanoff pounded her way up them. Four flights up and ten lockers in. Natasha moved through the shadows towards her goal. Romanoff came up short as she felt cold steel press into the back of her head.

"Don't move," instructed a gruff voice behind her. She slowly raised her hands. The clicking of the trigger was quickly overwhelmed by the bang that echoed through the facility.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One Woman Army by Kate Earl


	16. Old Lady

The gunman dropped his weapon as it fired when Natasha had, in one swift move, spun then grabbed and twisted his arm. Steam billowed out of the pipe as the stray bullet slammed into it. The man held his injured arm against his chest while taking a swing at Romanoff. She easily sidestepped the fist and countered by sweeping his legs out from under him. The thug pulled a hidden knife and slashed her arm as she moved in to finish the job. Natasha hissed and pulled back, giving him enough time to clamor to his feet.

He made several wide thrusts, forcing the Black Widow to move back further. She jumped up and pulled down on the leaking pipe causing it to snap. A huge gush of steam came out right in the thug's face. Screaming in agony, he covered his face with his hands. Unfortunately for him, it did nothing to lessen the burn and made it easier for Natasha to disarm him and snap his neck. The body fell heavily to the ground with a thud.

She spared but a moment to catch her breath before continuing down the hall to the locker that held the key to saving Clint. When she arrived at her destination, she pulled her gun and shot the lock off. An alarm immediately sounded, giving away her location, but this was faster than trying to pick the lock. The heavy door protested being opened but it finally relented, revealing a small back box inside. Natasha entered the locker and carefully opened the box. A metallic sphere was nestled inside. It didn't appear to be otherworldly; in fact, it looked like it was hematite. She picked up the shiny cube, which was deceptively light, and put in the satchel she brought.

The guards were moving in on her position, but she managed to keep ahead of them. Moving faster than she ever had in her life, she cleared the building and made for the rendezvous point.

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Steve sat patiently by Barton's bed. He could hear Natasha arguing with the nurses about having her arm stitched up and her cast redone. The team had returned a few hours earlier with Romanoff in possession of a sphere that would apparently help Clint. Bruce had run it straight to the lab to conduct some test to verify that it was, in fact, the genuine article based on the research he had obtained from Hydra. There were a few other things the doctor wanted to check, but the medical and technical babble was completely over Rogers' head.

Fury had insisted on a debriefing immediately following medical signing off that Black Widow was cleared for duty. All protests to the contrary were silenced when he not so nicely reminded the Avengers just how bad they had screwed up. Now, they all waited for permission to try something that had no guarantee of working.

"What are you doing here?" asked Rogers as Pepper wheeled Tony into the room. Stark looked awful, slumped in a wheel chair with tubes and wires everywhere. Pepper didn't look too thrilled at the impromptu field trip either.

"You think I was going to miss this?" Tony's voice lacked its usual authority and sarcasm. He sounded a lot like he looked.

Any further conversation was halted as Banner entered the room, sphere in hand, Natasha stalking after him.

"That's going to help Clint?" questioned Steve pointing to the unimpressive rock.

Bruce gave a nervous grin. "From what I've read, this has the ability to absorb Tesseract energy, which, in layman's terms, is what's in Barton's system. In theory, it should remove the energy and, hopefully, Clint will be back to himself."

"In theory," said Romanoff.

"We're dealing with speculation and tests performed on inanimate objects; it's not an exact science but it's all we have. I just don't know how to get it to work," replied Bruce.

"What, no on switch?" Stark motioned to Bruce to pass it over. "Maybe if we get Barton to rub it and think there's no place like home." Tony turned the sphere over in his hands. He wasn't sure what insight he could offer; most of his energy was devoted to trying not to giggle like a school girl. He was definitely going to have to get the name of the painkillers SHEILD was giving him.

Stark passed the sphere back to Banner, who placed it in Clint's hand. Everyone stared and waited for something, anything to happen. The room was silent. Everyone was stiff as statues. A minute stretched into five, then into fifteen and still nothing. Twenty minutes were marked with awkward shifting and clearing of throats.

"Anyone know any magic words?" asked Stark.

Bruce was about to open his mouth to apologize for getting everyone's hopes up when the sphere started to glow. It was soft at first but the light got brighter and swirls of blue began to appear in the center. The room was bathed in a blinding flash of light. When everyone opened their eyes, the sphere had returned to its metallic black color.

Bruce moved over to the monitors attached to Barton and looked for any change. Banner shook his head; the disappointment in the room was heavy. Everyone was grieving the loss of the chance to save their teammate.

"I'll go back and look over everything again. Maybe I missed something," offered Bruce.

Clint suddenly sat bolt upright in bed sucking in a large audible gasp.

"Clint?" asked the doctor as he rushed to take a look at Barton. Hawkeye's eyes were still the cold and unfocused blue they had been for the last week.

"Bruce?" The broken sob settled like a rock in everyone's stomachs. The archer let out a piercing scream then collapsed back on the bed. Pain tore through him, setting everyone's nerves ablaze. Clint tried to curl into a ball to minimize his suffering, but Steve and Bruce were at his side holding his arms and legs down to stop him from thrashing against the restraints. Someone called for a medical team.

Ignoring the whimpers of pain from the patient, Bruce grabbed Clint's head and forced the archer to look at him. "Clint! Clint, can you hear me?"

The archer blinked once, twice to get Banner into focus. On the third try, the blue haze that covered his vision disappeared and the world came back into bright crystal clarity.

Bruce let out a sigh as he watched the blue dissipate, leaving only the familiar grey of Clint's eyes. He stepped out of the way to let one of the nurses gain access to Barton's IV, then moved back to hold his hand as the drugs slowly pulled Clint into a blissfully pain-free sleep.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stark had worked his magic and somehow convinced the medical staff that they wouldn't be forced to tear out their hair if they let Tony share a room with Barton. Pepper opted to go to the cafeteria to get the rest of the team some coffee knowing that Tony was safe in their hands.

The Avengers were waiting rather impatiently for Clint to regain consciousness. He had been mostly out while medical ran their test to make sure there were no traces of Tesseract energy and that the sphere hadn't had any unforeseen side effects.

Relief washed over Rogers as Bruce came back with the test results. Steve wasn't sure how much more of the billionaire's drug induced rambling he could handle. Natasha stood silently in the corner awaiting Banner's prognosis.

"So far, everything looks good. They managed to ask him a few questions when he came to briefly and he doesn't seem to be suffering any neurological effects. The physical test can't find any abnormalities. They'll want to do a more thorough exam later to be sure, but I think we might have gotten away with this one," informed Bruce.

"Yay, alright team," slurred Tony. "Someone get Steve a cigar so he can say the line."

Bruce scrunched up his forehead. "What line, Tony?"

"The old guy lights up a cigar and says 'I love it when a plan comes together!' See, their plans never went according to plan either but it always worked out." Not getting any kind of response, Stark tried to explain further, "The A-Team, I mean, you guys really have to start bonding with the TV more. Everything went to hell in a hand basket and yet we're all still here. Hey, someone should tell Thor!"

"I'll ask Director Fury to contact him and tell him the good news," said Steve.

"Where'd Roma-noma-noma-off go?" asked Tony. "That really rolls off the tongue."

Steve and Bruce looked around the room. Sometime during Tony's garbled ramblings, the spy had slipped out of the room.

"Seriously, bells. We need to get them bells. I could make them black so they'd match the uniform."

"I think you just need to concentrate on your next nap, Tony," suggested Bruce.

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Clint's room was dark except for the soft glow of the bedside lamp. Natasha stood in the shadows in the corner and watched. The nurse wouldn't be back for the next nightshift check-in for a few hours and the team had reluctantly left to get their first full night of sleep back at the Tower. The only sound was Stark's soft snores. Romanoff had seen the nurse administer his nightly dose of painkillers and knew that the billionaire was going to be out for the remainder of the evening.

She had slipped out on the team earlier when she heard that Barton was going to be alright. She had some soul searching to do and if she put it off she knew she wouldn't have the courage to do it. Clint was the only real constant in her life, the one person she counted on to have her back; he was familiar and safe. That was the problem. Somewhere in their friendship, she had lost perspective and it was going to get both of them killed.

If she hadn't been so blinded by her feelings for him, she probably would have stopped Stark and Thor from bringing Loki back here. Sure, Clint still would have been affected by the Tesseract energy, but he wouldn't have been put in the position to be controlled by the insane god again. Natasha knew how much he had feared falling to Loki and being forced to fight her, yet she had put him in both of those situations. Bruce would have sifted through all the research and come up with a solution regardless of whether they brought the god back. She couldn't even justify the action by saying it had saved her partner. Having left the situation alone might have slowed down the affliction enough that Clint wouldn't have had to endure that coma for a week. Stark certainly wouldn't have almost died and Thor wouldn't have been faced with yet another betrayal by his brother. Everyone had suffered because she couldn't be objective when it came to the most important person in her life.

If she acknowledge any feelings for Barton, then they would be there for others to exploit. Loki certainly didn't hesitate to use it against them; others would too. That would put future missions in jeopardy, could put the team in danger, and neither one would be able to live with themselves if the Avengers suffered because of them.

Natasha had made up her mind; one of them had to be strong enough to walk away to keep the other safe. She'd tell Fury she wanted an assignment to take some time to get herself straightened out and put her feelings back where they belonged. Then, she could be an effective agent again.

"Natasha?" came the hushed croak. Clint squinted until his eyes adjusted to the darkened room.

Romanoff sashayed over to the bed and sat down next to the archer's feet. "How are you?"

Clint searched Natasha's eyes for the right answer, the one that would steal the tension from her shoulders. They had known each other for so long he could practically hear her thoughts. He could see her intention to leave, despite her best efforts to hide it. It was written all over her face.

"Fine, I guess. I don't… I don't really remember anything after Tony brought me back to the Tower." He was surprised at how smoothly the lie flowed out of his mouth. Sure, his job required him to be able to convince anyone of anything, but he never seemed to do it this well to Natasha. He remembered every single second, everything he had done to his friends. He had put Thor in the position of choosing between the team and his brother once again. He had put Stark in front of Loki's blade and he had tried to kill Natasha. He remembered the struggle to hold on to himself and every minute of his torment after he broke the scepter. This lie was a gift he was offering to his partner; he could see her need to hear that he remembered nothing. If it provided her with peace of mind, then he would give it to her. It could be the start of his quest for forgiveness.

"That's good. You should get some rest Clint." Natasha patted him gently on the leg then headed toward the door.

"Natasha." She paused at the door. Clint's stomach twisted as he realized she was leaving, really leaving. "I'll see you around?"

The Black Widow met his gaze for two short seconds then turned and left the room. She kept walking even though it killed her a little more inside with every step she took away from the pleading request of the archer. One day, when they didn't have to look over their shoulders, maybe she could give in to it.

Barton bit his lower lip and sucked in a deep breath. He tried to hold on to the thought that he hadn't let Loki use him to kill his friends but, despite beating the god in the end, he had lost one of the people that mattered most to him.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Old Lady by Sinead O'Connor


	17. This Is Why We Fight

The day was decidedly cheerful even if the archer wasn't. Both he and Stark had been released from medical a few days before and had returned to the Tower. Tony still wasn't a hundred percent; he wasn't even seventy-five percent and, while it was good to be back home, he was still sentenced to bed rest by Warden Potts, who had managed to keep him locked in their bedroom. Clint didn't have a scratch on him and was, therefore, allowed to wander the tower, but the team was insistent that he stay close, mostly to settle their nerves that he was, in fact, alright.

Trying to pretend that everything was okay was exhausting. Clint wondered if the team found it exhausting as well. He had been brought up to speed on Fury's wrath. Barton had to applaud the team's effort at pretending they weren't six feet under and still managing to dig themselves deeper. There weren't enough remote outposts in Siberia, so clearly Fury was going to have to send them in shifts. The archer was roused from his musings about possible punishments by Thor. He had returned a few days ago and Clint found it disconcerting for the god to be so reserved.

"You wanna talk about it?" asked Clint as Thor joined him in leaning on the roof railing.

Thor let out a deep sigh. "Forgive my sorrow. I do not wish to dampen your mood."

"I think moods are dampened all around. It's nothing you did."

"I fear it is. I am responsible for Loki and his actions."

"Look, Thor, despite my personal feelings that Loki should spend an eternity suffering unspeakable torment somewhere, he's your brother and I know how much all of this affects you. But you are not responsible for him. Brothers will just let you down sometimes."

Thor could tell by the droop of Hawkeye's shoulders that the man could empathize with the situation. "The Allfather has decided to strip Loki of all his powers and banish him from our realm. He will be alone and powerless and he has incurred many enemies."

"I'm sorry," offered Clint. Thor tilted his head and cocked his eyebrow, confused by such sentiment from someone who had suffered greatly at his brother's hands. Barton just shrugged. "Don't get me wrong, he deserves what's coming to him and so much more, but… people forget that those that know them and love them suffer too."

"It pains me to cut ties with Loki, but I cannot allow him to continue to use me in the manner in which he has. I cannot end him, but I will not let myself fall prey to his machinations again even if it means I have spoken my last to him. I think Loki's greatest trouble was that no one had faith in him. I do not want to make that same mistake with you," explained Thor.

Loki's words tumbled through Clint's head. We're not so different, you and I. We are but a means to their ends. "So you agree that Loki and I are the same?"

"No," insisted Thor. "You are nothing like him, but I do not wish to repeat my mistakes. I must confess I did doubt your ability to overcome Loki's control and I am sorry for that."

Barton let out a self-deprecating laugh. "I doubted too," he confessed.

The god of thunder shuddered at the thought that his brother's actions could cause such a warrior to doubt himself the way Clint seemed to. "You are the heart of this team. You venture out every day without armor or magic and you fight alongside those of us that do. You put the team's welfare above your own no matter the cost and you ask for nothing in return. You do it because you believe in something better. I am proud to call you a fellow warrior, a friend, a brother," he proclaimed as he clamped a large hand on Barton's shoulder.

"I don't know that I believe that, Thor."

"I would not lie to you about such matters. In your darkest hour, you managed to find the strength to overcome my brother's control and stop him. Others cannot boast such feats. Only someone with true heart can overcome such obstacles."

Natasha choosing to walk away, to play it safe, had left a hole, but hearing that Thor was still willing to have his back after everything filled the loneliness a little. "Thanks for choosing me over Loki. I know how hard it is to go against family, even when you don't agree with them. And you could have let him walk away, could have let him take me through that portal to who knows where but you didn't. So thank you."

"Come, my brother, we must drink such to victories," declared Thor as he started to drag Clint off the roof and down to the living room. It was good to hear the joy back in the god's boisterous voice. Even though they still had to find a way to climb out of the hole the team found themselves in, at least now it felt like there was hope.

The end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Is Why We Fight by The Decemberists


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